Breezy

We are still here

2011-10-14T20:54:00.000+01:00

Amber coils

Bonfire necklace

We've just not been paying attention, sorry. Well I am mainly posting stuff on my jewellery blog as well I am mainly making jewellery.

TS has just started his second year as a mature (v mature :) ) full time student he might pick up on his Arnold the Methodical Blog as I caught him laughing at his own posts the other day.

But the Breezy Break French web site is no more I'm afraid blame the cost of hosting it and our lack of being in France which made it feel like a bit of a lie.

We still have the house of course and the lovely next door but one Ian has been finishing it off for us but its strictly a holiday romance now. We might even get to visit next year who knows.

In the meantime in lieu of misty autumn Limousin-ness have some jewellery . . . just not the same I know

Still on the baubles

2011-06-03T13:35:00.000+01:00

Ochre Sands Bracelet £15

Having a bit of a bracelet phase at the moment. Thoughts of summer holidays I suppose though I've no idea where the connection is. Why not rings or necklaces?

Anyway as I sit here eating my icecream cone from the van which plays the match of the day tune, (we're getting a bit too addicted to his strawberry and vanilla double cones in fact he's almost got his own parking space outside our door) icrecream and bracelets means summer holidays

Time flies

2011-06-01T13:39:00.000+01:00

Denim necklace and bracelet set £37

Clarice necklace £20

Following tradition I should have been posting kittens as you got jewellery last time but, you know, jewellery sits still and lets you pose it. With the warm weather the cats have discovered the joys of hunting. No fly or moth can rest peacefully anywhere once the dynamic duo have it in their sights. It plays havoc with the dogs nerves as they throw themselves at the walls and windows partly her own fault as she has always had a talent for being exactly in the way.

Looking at the date of my last post I can see I've been a bit idle on the jewellery front. I do have lots of projects on the go, in fact I think I'll have to get a bigger work in progress box, but mainly I've been playing (or making scrap depending on how you look at things). Also killing off my pasta machine and extruder I seem to be to tools what Uri Geller was to cutlery.

Anyway in with my playing I decided to try a bit of wirework which is where the denim set eventually came in when I finally got the knack of making even sized loops.

The Clarice necklace I was sorely tempted to keep for my hols even now I keep looking at the way the different colours swirl together I just love every little bead which is a bit immodest I know. Oh it's called Clarice because it reminds me of Clarice Cliff pottery at least the colours do.

So that's me then off to make more scrap and soothe the dog

More jewellery stuff

2011-05-08T17:49:00.000+01:00

I had my first sale on MISI this week so I'm feeling all chirpy and appreciated. It was the daisy bracelet. In typical Breezy style I have spent the profits several times over so TS is now getting suspicious when I say this polymer clay, this honeysuckle for the garden, this book, this magazine subscription, this workshop, this copper it's from the daisy bracelet. I can't imagine why.

So I should be making something to replace it but the dog and kittens are conspiring against me today and demanding that I dole out cuddles and food and provide a comfy lap for snoozes. Even TS wants feeding at regular intervals how unreasonable is that? I can see I shall have to go into lockdown mode but the dog tippy tapping round the living room and the little meows and paws coming under the gap in the door will agravate and distract me and make me feel guilty.

Ah well I suppose I'd better mess around on the interweb then

Well I warned you

2011-04-30T13:33:00.000+01:00

Bluebell Wood Necklace £20

After a day watching the wedding though I'd no intention of doing more than checking out the highlights I'm back to inflicting my jewellery on you.

That and Dora and how beautifully she is growing up and her amazing copper coloured eyes

Dora Copper Eyes Priceless

I'd show you my new short haircut too but that would be just too much.

Shameless

2011-04-28T14:03:00.000+01:00

Iris bracelet

Here's me shamelessly showing off my jewellery again. Well I don't get out much. The sunshine has me desperately missing my garden sitting on the front doorstep here just doesn't cut it. So I seem to be going with a decidedly flowery theme of late for a not too flowery person.

The Iris bracelet and necklace boldly teaming purple and green which some people don't seem to think go. It's one of my favourite combinations maybe it's the eccentric old lady coming to the fore a bit prematurely if so it's been happening for ... mm yes well ah cough quite a lot of years now since I was in my teens. Anyway it reminds me of Iris'

Iris Bracelet and Necklace Set £30

The Tiger Lily necklace well the colour reminds me of lillies and it got tigers eye beads. The logic is there you know I don't just pluck it out of thin air. So that's me that is I'm gonna have a cup of coffee and make more jewellery and oh yes you will have to look at that too.

Tiger Lily Necklace £20

Too much colour

2011-04-25T17:52:00.000+01:00

This bank holiday weekend I have been experimenting some more with patination the chain is liver of sulphur, the leaves are heat patinated, the flower is ammonia and the chest is not having the sense to get out of the sun.

We spent a glorious sunny day at Bolton Abbey yesterday and had a barbeque next to the river watching big kids and little kids and dogs paddling about then spent all evening slapping on the after sun It's what bank holidays are all about

Cats and Blogs

2011-04-16T21:56:00.003+01:00

No the title doesn't mean anything but then again does it ever? It mainly means I was thinking about blogging and to be honest I've not a lot to say except about jewellery and the cats and you've already had jewellery this week.

I don't like to blog about work because well I'm at home now and though it's a rich untapped seam of comedy capers it's not nice to talk about people behind their backs. Especially people who might sack you. Hell now I'm tempted !

Work does come into it a bit because I decided to share some pics which TS sent to cheer my working day (which I looked at in my break of course!)

I suppose the reference to sponges and bottle tops needs explaining ? For some reason Max is under the impression that washing up sponges are his natural prey. He hunts them down wherever they hide then runs round the house with them in his mouth growling. The sort of thing that other people's cats do with mice. He likes his sponges succulent, that is fished out of the washing up bowl as wet as possible, so that he can cause maximum mayhem running round soaking everything in sight. Our bed being the favoured final resting place.

His other main obsession is beer bottle tops. The minute you open a bottle of beer he swoops in and runs off with the top. It disappears in the time it takes to reach for a glass though usually it reappears upside down when you are walking round the house in bare feet looking for the washing up sponge. I did tell you Max was TS's cat didn't I?

Dora of course is perfect

And the winner is

2011-04-10T21:04:00.002+01:00


Blue Daisies Bracelet

In the end the daisies won. That's if they are daisies they remind me now of those lovely blue wild geraniums which I have always vowed to grow and never got round to. The patinas and the links have given me a boatload of new ideas to try out. It's no wonder it takes me so long to make stuff I'm forever skipping along thinking of the next thing I could do.

Isn't it hard to take a picture of your own arm!

You can see from the blue green patina I finally got my ammonia. By the way have any of you seen the Travel Lodge ad with the teddy bears? Is the pink one in the ice cream cone really saying f**k off ? Surely not.

Right off to wash my hair and get depressed about Monday and going to work.

ps added Monday - Re- reading this I realise I sound completely manic sorry no excuse

On the other arm

2011-04-09T11:34:00.000+01:00

So mmm right back on the 20th March I happily published pics of my prototype daisy chain bracelet but do you know I just couldn't quite take to it. So since then I have been mostly turning copper into less copper to sort of misquote and plagarise (yes all at the same time) Terry Pratchett on alchemists as I tried to get what I wanted.

As you can see I went off at a bit of a tangent

Dark sulty poppies

Not much sweetness and summer meadows going on here.

But it's a lovely sunny day so I'm torn, do I go back and revisit the daisies or do I stay with the dark side of the force?

Bright shiny daisies

The Cube

2011-04-03T21:10:00.000+01:00

I went looking for ammonia on Friday to get a blue/green patina on copper. Could I find any? Well obviously not or I wouldn't of mentioned it. Whilst wondering round the shops chuntering to myself about not being able to buy basic things because greedy b*****d supermarkets wanted to repackage basic stuff and make us buy 50 different cleaning products at 10 times the price and the world wouldn't be in the mess it's in if everyone didn't fall for it I spotted something called a cat cube. I had got myself into the kind of mood where I thought they'll probably get just as much pleasure from a cardboard box, but them remembered Max's unfortunate habit of peeing in cardboard boxes.

I should have known it was going to be trouble when I undid the packaging and it sprang out like one of those self inflating lifeboats and smacked me in the face. This was at work so at least someone got a laugh out of it. It's sort of a springy wire and cloth type thing with cat sized holes on three sides and it defied all my attempts to get it back in the packaging so I finished up kind of screwing it up and securing it with elastic bands then sat on the bus waiting for it to explode out of my bag all the way home.

Dora liked the look of it and sort of went in and out of the holes and batted the bits of tape around, thought it might be a good thing to sleep in then along came Max. He promptly evicted her and claimed it for his very own boys toy. Initially it was just a case of storing his collection of beer bottle tops in there and repelling Dora as she attempted to get back in which he did at the cost of one of his bottle tops. Dora tried tempting him out by batting the top around the floor. This is where the trouble really started for whilst trying to get his top back but keep at least his bum in the cube he discovered that it was mobile. Thus began the reign of terror, nothing quite freaks out a semi senile old dog who lives up to the name of Sissy like a bright orange cube with claws hurtling across the livings room

The cube is coming to get you

Especially when it blocks the path to the door

Are you feeling lucky dog?

Cuisine?

2011-03-29T14:00:00.000+01:00

Does Chilli with Yorkshire Pudding count as fusion food?

It was nice ......... honest

Some days shopping is just too much trouble

Anyone want to come for their tea?

Missing you already

2011-03-25T13:47:00.001+01:00

The kittens are going away for the weekend to stay with Oscar. They have been for visits before but this is their first time of staying over. These are all practice runs for mutual cat sitting for holidays and such to make sure everyone can get along.

Whilst I will miss the little darlings and I have insisted that they are delivered home first thing Sunday morning (I can't be without them for the WHOLE weekend) I have to admit the thought of leaving out my jewellery making gear without danger of interferance is rather pleasant. Not to mention not having to go into total lockdown when I want to use the kiln.

Usually I set my stall out then Dora appears on the table. It all starts innocently enough with her sitting there front paws together tail curled neatly around looking politely interested but it can't last

" These little bits are good that you have put in this tray. Look I can hook them out and spread them all over the table for you"

"Look you dropped a bead I'll get it! oh, I've accidently pushed it under the fridge"

"Those saw blades are quite fine aren't they. Are they crunchy too?"
" If I push this hammer off the table will it bounce do you think?"

"This box of scrap metal is actually comfier than it looks you know"

Eventually she gets sent to "help" TS with his studies

"Wow these are notes are they? Don't they slide well you can get them under the sofa and everything. Were they in any particular order?"

So where was I

2011-03-20T20:24:00.001+01:00

Oh yes medical moans. To cut a long story short turned up for work half the week, Tuesday went for my annual poke in the eyes at the hospital (high pressure plus extreme short sightedness plus funny shaped optic nerves = glaucoma risk) Wednesday went for my bosoms squeezed (oh the joys of being 50 and being invited along for a mammogram) Thursday gave up on the dying swan act and went to the doctors and got antibiotics now feel well enough to get the kiln out. Yippee! Back to work tomorrow but another trip to the hospital for blood tests to see why my joints ache (what do you want to bet that that is also something to do with being 50) and I can't shift a cold for four weeks. The blood test thing should have been taken care of Friday at the doctors but I have veins that hide at the sight of a needle. Anyway I don't care now cos with the aid of my trusty kiln and inspired by the bit of Spring sunshine, I made this and I'm feeling just a little bit pleased with myself nay quite smug really.If I can keep my energy levels up I feel a matching necklace and earrings coming on. Oh and I digressed into kittens on the last post because they have been to the vets to be neutered and are making considerably less fuss about things than I am.

Daisy chain bracelet

Enamel and copper

I was going to moan but here's some kittens

2011-03-18T22:09:00.002+01:00

I realise that I have not introduced two new characters in our lives this comes as I was going to tell you about my highly medical related week.

Max

Max loves Jasper

We have Max nominally TS's Christmas present from my Mum and Brother. He is a norwegian forest cat on his mother's side and a black and white moggie on his dad's. He has inherited mum's shape but has his own unique just a bit longer than short incredible silky coat which is black and white but with grey tabby markings in the black. This was a more than generous present on my brother's behalf as he doesn't really "get" cats. In the way of cats Max "gets" this and delights in using my brother as a climbing frame he also loves to hang out with my brother's dog Jasper. Well every cool dude needs a big daft mate.

Dora

Dora my birthday and Christmas pressie from TS and my brother is a british shorthair she is supposed to be growing into an Isadora but somehow it turned into Dizzy Dora and she now prefers to be called Dizz. She's the one who gets away with murder thanks to those big kitten eyes.I've even heard my brother saying "hello little girl" when he thinks no-ones listening. We are all her willing slaves we know we are being manipulated but we can't help ourselves she's just so sweet!

So how did you get up there then?

So I now feel I've gone on a bit and I've quite lost the thread on all the medical stuff. Never mind have a quite unseasonal picture of the kittens at Christmas

No I'm not napping I'm random

2011-03-12T16:20:00.001+01:00

Beach Necklace £20

I'm finally officially over my cold and this is what I've been doing with my new found lack of napping. I wasn't quite up for full on metalwork so I've been making polymer clay beads.

This particular kind I love making, it has a kind of randomness as you put your various shades of polymer clay into the extruder and create string that blends them all together then wrap your string around the beads. I find it endlessly absorbing watching the colour blends emerge.

"Maybe you should get out more" I hear you say but colours look at the pretty colours plus Breezys love random.

Random Green Ncklace £20

My jewellery making has kept me sane since I got back or at least I can pass in a crowd. I did get an allottment initially (no this is not random) but as well as constantly being reminded by the cold, heavy, wet clay that I wasn't in my own lovely garden with my own lovely light, warm, fertile with things living it it soil I felt overlooked. My allotment wasn't the peaceful sanctuary my garden was there were rules, gates to be locked and stuff that might get pinched and the possibility of vandals and all the lovely poppies that sprang up were weeds and a war was being fought all around me. The only butterflies had come to scoff the cabages and the birds to dig up the peas and of course not a chicken in sight. About the only thing I got out of it were some onions. It wasn't that the other allotmenteers were horrible but I wasn't going there to socialise I was going to get away from feeling crowded and being surrounded by concrete. It was just not the escape and fulfillment I was looking for.

Now then what was I saying about naps? It is a grey Saturday afternoon after all what else are you going to do?

Colour me purple

2011-03-10T20:32:00.000+01:00

I've been meaning to post some more this week but all my PC type stuff has been taken up with messing about with pictures and a fab email correspondance with Aims my new official jewellery buddy. Now poor old TS gets a break from being forced to hear about my jewellery problems and look at work in progress. Somehow she is also managing to be really productive you should check out the stuff she makes on her blog I love it especially her copper bangles.

On the non jewellery front I have purple hair now. At least that's what I told TS I was going to get because it doesn't do for him to be all complacent about what vision of loveliness is going to greet him as he walks through the door. For an added frisson of excitement my niece was doing it as part of her hairdressing course. Such was his relief when he saw the final outcome that he was incredibly taken by the new hair colour which is kind of a deep wine, a cheeky little bordeaux to go with my full bodied burgandyness. Purple in all it's guises from dove greys and lavenders through to blackberry is my favourite colour. It's going to be my new black. More than likely the high street will pick an entirely different colour for their new black especially with it being spring probably their new black will be pink I shall however go my own way probably via Oxfam.

Mmm other than that not much really I am still getting over my cold so need a nap at the drop of a hat or the merest mention of housework. Anyway got to go it's Buffy time. Then maybe another nap.

Oscar and MISI

2011-03-05T14:58:00.000+01:00

Oscar comes to us for his holidays or along for the ride when Oscar Mum and Oscar Dad come visiting. You should never judge a book by it's cover nor an Oscar Cat by his appearance. Inside there is the sweetest little fellow who does nothing more terrible than swear at birds through the window or tease the dogs with a flick of his tail across the nose.

He has that certain something and I had to have a go at making an Oscar so I drew him on a piece of copper then cut out something that barely followed my drawing, since for some reason stuff looks different as you cut it out to when it's lines, or maybe I shouldn't of bought my glasses online from Hong Kong. Anyway enamelled him white, painted on his eyes with orange and black and was really rather pleased with him and myself. Oscar Mum liked the pressie too. So I have picked Oscar Dude as the first thing to go in my MISI shop. It's a shame really that my photos are quite dire but I am sure I will get better.

I was going to list several things but do you know it is all quite draining what with the fifty zillion pictures that are all rubbish even with the cropping and adjusting and the flash on and the flash off and the flash on auto and the light on and the light off and the lamp on and the lamp off and near the window and away from the window. Have you tried taking a picture of a brooch on a jacket you are wearing in a mirror without showing the camera and your double chins and the rather fetching cold sores that have appeared to get in on the act. Not to mention the uploading and writing descriptions and deciding how much to charge and feeling a bit cheeky really for selling stuff you've made even though your jewellery teacher says that she will pay real money for one. Do you know I started this yesterday tea time and now it's two o'clock the following afternoon? And me with the cold/flu and stuff and TS off at the University telling people that they too can be mature students and do degrees. I may have to go lie down.

Update

2011-03-03T14:24:00.001+01:00

OK so I said I'd almost finished sulking and I had but I was busy too so I didn't actually post anything but I meant to and my gosh doesn't time fly er um.

Since we last got together I have a job (and for quite a while blumin heck) which I am not doing today, or indeed any day this week so far, due to having a very nasty cold/flu and not having the kind of dedication that it takes to work myself to death. This level of dedication to not working myself to death is probably how I got where I am today.

TS is a full time (very) mature student which he is doing today despite having a nasty cold/flu because he is dedicated plus it is something that can be done from your sickbed. Anyway he appears to be good at it and enjoying it so there you go then yes indeed. It certainly beats being a greeter at ASDA which seems to be the only other geriatric role available round here that doesn't involve being labelled some kind of benefit scrounger and root of all the country's ills.

We still have the house in France which Debs & her other half have been kindly keeping an eye on and doing stuff to and we are clinging on to it although it allmost went on the market but we discovered that there wasn't actually a market for it to go on to. It's a long long time since we went though and sometimes I think we'll not see it again and sometimes I don't care as it still all feels a bit bittersweet.

Anyway moving on. I don't actually know what I'm going to write about now but I have been going to a jewellery class so I may just make you admire my creations it would certainly give TS a break

One enamel & copper pendant for the admiring of

Back in less than a year I hope

x Breezy

Almost finished sulking

2010-03-31T20:55:00.001+01:00

Be back in blog land soon

Almost random

2008-10-24T20:34:00.003+02:00

Well I fancied blogging but to be honest I am the least inspired person in the world right now so thank goodness for Moonroot tagging me.

The rules are:
Link to the person or persons who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself.
Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

So stuff whats been on my mind but not worth blogging about

1) I don't have a mobile phone
I used to have one but I was never very good at it despite having worked for a mobile network and a mobile service provider at various points in my illustrious career. I think I have told you already but I am so bad at texting that I had to turn off the beeps due to the extreme hilarity and piss taking caused by the slowness of my thumbs. Plus I just couldn't get interested in having the latest model or the best deal For one astonished telesales person who wanted to send me their latest model absolutely free and with no obligation this just didn't compute, "But what do you do when you want to talk to someone?" he stammered.

Now this is not to say that I don't get enjoyment out of mobile phones I absolutely love eavesdropping on other people's conversations on the bus. My only bug bear is the Eastern European lady who can fill a whole thirty minute journey with a non-stop monologue into her mobile. I need a translator.

2) I am not on a diet
This is one of my biggest pet peeves. Yes it's a good idea to eat a healthy balanced diet I would like it in an abstract kind of way if there was a bit less of me to go round but PLEASE when I hear people defining themselves as good or bad depending on if they had a cream bun or worse still one yes ONE chocolate I can feel myself reaching for the soap box. Get a grip people you are good if you do things that make the world a better place. Don't even get me started on those stupid magazines that alternate articles on "My Eating Disorder Hell" with photos of celebrity cellulite.

3) I am having pet withdrawal symptoms
This means that I steal cuddles from other people's pets as I go about my daily business. There are a perfect pair of labradors on my way to the bus stop a golden one and a black one both chubby and waggy and they both hang their heads over the gate to get their ears scratched. Then there is the ginger cat on my way home and the little black cat with the cut off tail. Give it another 10 years and I know I'll be mad cat woman or something.

4) I love Strictly Come Dancing
What's not to love?

5) I have not won the lottery yet
But I live in hope or is that in a dream world? Honestly I would be the perfect lottery winner it would change my life and I would live happily ever after. So if you have any influence . . .

6) I've got to go now cos Dancing with the Stars is on

So I've run out of time to nominate some people but I would like to read any and all of your six random things

Bells and whistles

2008-10-16T13:45:00.004+02:00

I went shopping yesterday for a birthday present for my great nephew (how old does that make me sound?). For his first birthday. Ah bless!

I ran round to the Early Learning Centre in my lunch hour and I had so much fun pressing buttons and having toys sing me nursery rhymes or flash lights or do funny sound effects. Obviously if I had any shame I would have been embarrassed.

Now before I set out I had it in mind to find something sort of sturdy and traditional you know a painted wood kind of thing. Tasteful. So what did I get?

A plastic book that sings nursery rhymes and giggles. It is pink but the giggles more than make up for that. To counteract the girlyness of the book a toy work bench with a drill that makes drill noises and has flashing red lights, a circular saw that makes circular saw noises and hammers and nails that make boing noises.

Fortunately he is not old enough yet to be totally underwhelmed by gifts from aged aunt and uncle so there is non of the usual buying for children anxiety I suppose I'd better make the most of it.

Black black

2008-10-08T20:03:00.004+02:00

I am at the Uni again which is handy transport wise but it does mean being surrounded by 18 to 20 somethings all of whom seem to be 7 stone wet through. That is quite depressing. All of a sudden I feel old and frumpy instead of just feeling like me.

It may be my old frumpyness but I would like a long sleeved black T shirt with a V neck, not a round or a square neck or a neck with an imitation bit of blouse attached. Plain black no sparkly bits, no writing, no pattern, not ribbed not down to my knees or up round my armpits. Three quarter length sleeves would be acceptable. Can I find one? Can I buggery. Maybe I'll have to buy Peoples Friend or some other old people's magazine and send off for one mail order.

Other than my total lack of a black long sleeved T s.hirt things are just steady away

The first job I got was data input. Very boring but on the plus side they provided breakfast of toast, fruit and real coffee every day. Very civilised I thought, it almost made up for the RSI and brain death and subsidised the cost of lunch no end.

The latest is a little more varied and a little more money but I have to bring my own coffee. Also it is dangerously close to one of the student coffee bars and an abundance of danish pastries. Not good for the wallet or any hopes of ever being 7 stone wet through.

Anyway three weeks to go then I'm off home for a fortnight courtesy of a cheapie flight from Ryanair hopefully to take in some of the glorious Limousin autumn colour.

Extreme lazyness

2008-09-28T18:00:00.005+02:00

I've been a bit quiet of late mainly because I am once again in the UK getting a bit of extra dosh and I felt a bit sulky about it to be honest but I've got over myself now. It's lucky that I can do it and that I have a brother who will pick me up at the airport and put me up in his spare room for the price of a couple of bars of French chocolate with raspberry bits in.

TS is at home looking after the gang, working and doing DIY on our house in my absence. I'm in two minds on this one. Half glad that I don't have to do it and half wanting to stick my oar in because I just can't bear not to be in charge. Actually I'm at least seven eighths glad that I don't have to do it and I can offer reams of advice and guidance by e-mail anyway.

To make sure I can play my part properly on my return I have been studying Extreme Makeover. Honestly that's the only reason. I don't really want to spend hours vegging out in front of the telly eating Martin's ice cream and crying buckets over all those tales of hardship while TS does all the work. I just want to do my bit. So whatever the house looks like I will jump up and down, scream and cry and shout Oh My God.

Come to think of it that will be fine either way won't it?

Just need to look up the French for bus driver move that bus and I'm sorted

Pumpkins and stuff

2008-09-09T14:35:00.002+02:00

The first of the pumpkin harvest and a busy cooking day.

Cornish pasties (nothing to do with pumpkins but anyway a batch of 14 for the freezer)

Butternut squash soup was the next on the list to be followed by an attempt at pumpkin pie.

The large orange pumpkins were from a volunteer plant. I didn't have a big enough, sharp enough knife to slice through one but TS came to the rescue with his wood splitting axe and split one in four for me.

We were so busy chopping up this pumpkin and turning it into puree that I accidently invented a new recipe, butternut squash and ginger mash. This involves a couple of cloves of garlic, an onion, a carrot, a potato, a teaspoon of ginger, lovage and coriander leaves, two butternut squashes and a litre of vegetable stock. Combine as if for soup ie sweating veg first in butter then adding stock then forget about it while you wrestle with an oversized pumpkin so that the stock is absorbed by the veg and the excess boils away and the vegetables will mash with a fork. But catch it just before it starts catching on the pan. Delicious! I might try making it on purpose next time.

Just waiting for the pumpkin pie to cool now. If we like it I've got another 5lbs of pumpkin puree on standby.

A lazy excuse for a post

2008-08-24T13:32:00.007+02:00

Sunday

What's a cat to do?

A spot of fishing

or just sitting on a pole

take a nap in the back seat of the car with the dog

or just have a lie in

It's all gone quiet over here

2008-08-18T20:35:00.003+02:00

I've not been feeling right chatty of late or internetty really. I've had a stash of novels non of which were stunning but I felt like burying myself in them anyway.

So whats been going on?

Well we've finally got the floor varnished downstairs in our house, the main job that we moved out to do. A little moment of sadness there as we discovered paw prints made by Mimo behind the kitchen shelves the time she got covered in green Hammerite. I've varnished over them so they will always be there now.

I've half painted the shutters, a rather nice shade of lavender I feel. Just as well. A stage of the Tour de Limousin will starting more or less outside our house next week. It wouldn't do to have scruffy shutters now would it and be lowering the tone.

It's been raining lots so a whole bucket of tomatoes have gone on the compost due to being blighted. But my carrots are huge and sweet and carroty and the pumpkins are looking prrrretty damn good (that's them hexed now).

Next big job is putting in the stairs leading up to the attic. We need some big strong men for that as we've been given a solid oak staircase and it weighs a ton. So if you're passing . . .

Petula Gordino is roosting with the rest of the Dinnerladies rather than going off on her own and is finally part of the gang. Now that they can roam at will with no neighbours to annoy they have turned their attention to the one place we don't want them which is in the house. We seem to be constantly shooing them away from the kitchen door. Perhaps they just want to be with us. It seems that wherever we go to up here we have 5 chickens, a cockerel, two kittens and the dog following along behind

It's like a budget production odf the Pied Piper.

Anyway me, the Dinnerladies, Stan, Eddie, Ernie and Sissy are off to get the washing in now

Sturdy sheep smell spooky

2008-08-04T18:46:00.004+02:00

I thought I would have a pic of them before they went. They are all coming over for their heads scratching

Petula Gordino

2008-08-04T18:31:00.001+02:00

I just realised you don't know what she looks like. She's a bit of a blur I'm afraid

Moving House is Such Hard Work

2008-07-31T13:05:00.002+02:00

My family and other people's animals

2008-07-30T15:14:00.003+02:00

The Breezy Household has upped sticks and moved a couple of kilometres up the road to house sit for a friend who is currently somewhere between here and Scotland with five horses, four cats and two dogs. I racked my brains for something she had three of but couldn’t come up with anything. Sorry.

She has got three sheep but they are still here waiting for their new owner to pick them up. We don’t really have a clue about sheep but we are armed with a telephone number of someone who does. Anyway they don’t look too fragile. In fact they are the sturdiest sheep I’ve ever seen. They seem happy enough with a bit of fresh bedding and water and are just getting on with doing sheep stuff round the back.

We seem to have inherited Stan the cockerel and Mrs Stan who in keeping with the Dinnerladies theme is now Petula Gordino. She is keeping her distance from the Dinnerladies and roosts in one of the barns. Stan obviously has an eye for quantity over quality and roosts with our girls but goes running off every morning as soon as we let him out to search for his free spirited wife. I was entertaining thoughts of Warren x Maran chicks running around the place but judging by Stan’s behaviour I think not. He’s very good at the virile poses and the cock-a-doodle-doing but that’s as far as it goes. His love for the Dinnerladies and Petula is a pure courtly kind of love. He’ll defend them from the kittens to the death but there won’t be any of the other kind of nonsense thank you very much.

Eddie and Ernie are having the time of their lives stalking the Dinnerladies and being chased by Stan, playing at jungle warfare in the valerian, climbing trees and exploring the dark depths of the yew hedge. We no longer hear the thunder of tiny kitten feet while we are trying to get to sleep at night just have two exhausted little bundles curled up on the bed.

Now that Sissy is convinced that the two dogs, four cats, five horses are no longer about she has stopped going to sit in the car and is happily ambling around the place. The sheep are a bit scary though so she never ventures round the back of the house unaccompanied.

TS is off somewhere with a bill hook hacking through brambles exploring and looking for evidence of the fish farm that was once supposed to be here.
I’m missing my garden, especially since my replacement fork from Spear and Jackson was delivered yesterday. Still it’s only down the road. Failing that there is fifty acres to go at here.

Just pottering

2008-07-24T08:45:00.004+02:00

I'm having a slow start today. With no need to charge off and do anything in particular I'm having a quick wander round everyone's blogs seeing what they've all been up to. Moonroot has been talking about creativity and how the Summer brings it out in her and also about the battery hens she has rescued. Read their stories I guarantee it will bring a tear to your eye.

Last year I so wanted to get everything just right and do everything that I had read about or seen on tv about self sufficiency. I spent lots of time running round in circles and I used up loads of energy worrying about how to do things instead of just getting on with it. This year I've calmed down a bit I'm the new chilled out me. I stay chilled out for oh hours at a time. With only slight episodes of veg plot envy and wishing for a finished house.

And low and behold

We have a wider range of potential food in the garden.

I'm using the food because it gets picked and I get on and make something with it.

I'm using up all the groceries I buy because I just get on and do something with them.

I have made

Redcurrant jelly - and used it with duck and in desserts

Apricot jam - with just enough apricots to make three jars instead of a boat load that put me under pressure to use them all.

Roast Aubergine and Tomato Quiche and Roast Aubergine and Tomato Soup I didn't think I liked aubergines

Beetroot Soup - a delicious surprise, who would of thought that would taste great?

oh and many curries and cornish pasties to fill up the freezer and make quick meals for working days and lots of other stuff.

Today I'm going to work in the garden till lunchtime when it gets too hot. Then cook up yesterday's shopping and whatever I get out of the garden this morning.

So sorry but I just have to get on now because next door has far more stuff growing than me.

Spear and Jackson You are great

2008-07-23T21:42:00.003+02:00

My favourite gardening thing is my Spear and Jackson border fork. It was my treat, a really good fork stainless steel with a wooden handle all traditional looking. It made me feel like a proper gardener. At least it did till TS managed to break the handle.

I have looked in vain for a replacement handle and of course every English person I mention it to says "Ah fork handles! The Two Ronnies!". So this morning I decided to look at their web site. I e-mailed them to ask if they had a stockist near Limoges or someone who could supply one mail order to France, mentioning to TS that they were in Sheffield so were bound to be nice folks.

Well they were. I had an e mail back today to say if I supplied them with my address and an image of the fork they would send me a replacement fork under guarantee. I am amazed and delighted

For those of you who don't immediately think of the Two Ronnies whenever fork handles are mentioned

Stan Stan he's our man

2008-07-12T20:11:00.004+02:00

Those wonderfully well travelled chickens of ours the Dinnerladies are on holiday again.

Like all the best holidays there is deluxe accommodation, great scenery and a little bit of holiday romance.

Meet Stan. Quite dashing isn't he? He lives at our friend's house and only has one wife a very glamourous looking copper marran. He escorts her around the place pointing out to her the choicest titbits of food. They make a lovely couple. Except now she's gone broody and left him to his own devices. He was finding it all a bit depressing really.

So enter the Dinnerladies. What they lack in glamour they make up for in quantity. Stan certainly thought so, when he spotted them across the lawn in the chicken run. He couldn't get over there fast enough. It was like he'd been starving and we'd offered him bread or erm something along those lines.

We worried how they might react to each other as we opened the gate to let him in. Would there be trouble and pecking orders to be established? No need. Once in the run he struck virile poses while the Dinnerladies gathered round to admire him. You could almost hear Dolly saying "ooower he's a bit of alright isn't he Jean?"

An hour or so later our girls were back to scratching around and exploring their new run while Stan proudly stood guard.

Although I don't know how Mrs Stan is going to react when she decides to emerge from her nest in the barn.

We will be joining the Dinnerladies on vacation in a couple of weeks as our friend is moving back to the UK and we are going to stay at her house so we can empty ours out and varnish the floors. But we felt so sorry for Stan we just had to send them on ahead

Friends

2008-07-08T11:19:00.005+02:00

Yesterday. It was raining. Our septic tank appeared to be full.

We were depressed.

TS bravely tackled the grease trap but no noticeable improvement and a great deal more smellyness were the only results.

I emailed some friends to ask them who had emptied their tank and how much it cost. They came back with a depressing figure of £225 euros 4 years ago. We were more depressed. So we shut the window on the stinky side of the house, opened the window on the lavender side and had some lunch.

Then the aforementioned friends called by "Had we sorted it out?" No we were depressed so we were watching an episode of Lexx and hoping it would all go away.

Diagrams were drawn and septic tank systems discussed and inevitably the discussion moved to the garden where we all stood and looked at the hatch of the offending and offensive fosse. Trying to breathe through our mouths.

The looking turned into poking about with a spade and the suggestion that the outflow could be blocked and the pipe should be followed to it's conclusion. Some hours and several deep holes later the pipe was traced to the hedge at the bottom of the garden but we just couldn't find it on the other side. Although we did find quite a lot of a Citroen (roof, windscreen, bonnet).

The next stage was to drill a hole in the pipe so that rods could be stuck in to clear any blockage and hopefully show where the exit was. After a volcanic eruption of whatever all over the tomatoes (pizza anyone?). The end was in sight. It was then simply a matter of clearing a channel for the liquid to flow on into the woods.

Friends. They get you out of the shit.

I will say this only once

2008-07-02T07:34:00.005+02:00

I know it's another kitten photo but this one of Eddie was just so good I can't resist.

I have a confession to make. the French lessons have fallen by the wayside due to TS having work that pays money. It's a shame but given the choice of eating and paying bills or sitting ecoutez-ing and répétez -ing it's no contest. However, all is not lost because we are plowing on with the Michel Thomas CDs. He has cleared up a lot of mysteries for me and I might finally be finding a French voice.

Than again.

Yesterday the phone rang I said "Hello". Like you do, you are perhaps thinking. But no it's not just a random choice of word it's for two reasons.

One it's probably someone English ringing and

Two if it's not then it's easier all round if the person on the other side of the phone doesn't start off with any great expectations about having a conversation.

It was a French lady so I did my usual "I'm sorry I only speak a little French but if you speak slowly then perhaps I will understand"

She asked if we had a freezer I proudly confirmed we did, Because we have. A bargain buy the other week for the princely sum of twenty euros that is so old and noisy it has to live in the barn but it makes stuff cold, really cold.

Anyway she was from a frozen food company and would we like to buy some with free delivery. Thinking of the portion of curry and brown sliced loaf that are the sole beneficieries of all the freeezy coldness going on in the barn I expressed guarded interest.

Well the upshot of the shooting my mouth off in French is that they are turning up on a Friday between 9 and 10 and may or may not be making a delivery of some stuff that may include salmon, scallops, ice cream and cauliflower. Or that could of been an example of an order. Oh and I'm not altogether sure which Friday either.

But I will be receiving a free recipe book.

I think.

Are You My Mummy?

2008-06-27T10:25:00.003+02:00

Eddie has finally achieved his ambition of snuggling up with Sissy.

Ever since he arrived he has been trying to get close to her a prospect that has until now filled her with horror.

He jumps on the sofa, so she goes to lie on he floor, he follows her down to the floor so she gets on a chair, he jumps on the chair so she goes upstairs.

Everywhere she tries to get a bit of rest he appears.

Dr Who fans will recognise the title. For those of you not familiar well thank goodness for You Tube

Ernie in the mean time has got his own issues with the water dish.

He sticks his paw in the water and the bloody stuff makes him wet, so he hits it, so it makes him wetter, hits it harder and faster and gets wetter still. He's tried approaching it from every angle with the same result. It's always alert for sneak attacks and always gets him back.

One volunteer is worth ten pressed men

2008-06-23T16:53:00.003+02:00

Here's our volunteer pumpkin. It could only be from the compost I dug into the garden last winter. Huge in comparrison to the ones I have coddled and nutured it's elbowing the cauliflowers out of it's way ready to go rampaging across the garden with a volunteer potato hot on it's heels.

If pumpkin pictures are just too exciting for you I do have a picture of a tomato. Sad I know but after last year's complete wash out I am thrilled to have nine (yes nine I counted them) little tomatoes appearing on one of the tomato plants. The others have some too but I haven't counted how many I have a short attention span.

We very nearly have peas too! We have leeks that are developing a distinct leekness, onions that might actually come out of the ground bigger than when we put them in, and climbing beans climbing. Also putting in an appearance are salsify, swiss chard, beetroot, carrots, cucumbers and broad beans.

In fact if it wasn't 30 degrees in the shade I would be out there weeding and coddling and praising all the little veggies and telling them just what a bang up job they are doing. But with my eyes screwed up against the sun I can choose not to see the weeds.

If you go down to the woods today

2008-06-16T15:03:00.004+02:00

I dare you to look at the full size image!

Have we been watching too much Sci Fi ? Is that why we got the feeling that if we leant in too close it would reach up and grab us? Or maybe it did and now we are being controlled and seeking to infect others.

We think it's an Octopus Stinkhorn, a kind of fungus. It was there in all it's gory glory this morning and already by the time this picture was taken something had eaten a bit of this one and the other one a few yards away was gone entirely.

They are supposed to be edible if disagreeable. I think I'll stick to button mushrooms in a plastic punnet thank you.

More kitten stuff

2008-06-06T18:44:00.005+02:00

Sorry but you have to hear more about Eddie and Ernie.

They are completely different in looks and personality.

Ernie (ginger) looks at least a week bigger than Eddie and is bold and easy going. He purrs all the time and jumps up and down on Eddie a lot (well what else are smaller siblings for?)

Eddie squeals over the slightest thing, Ernie jumping up and down on him, being picked up when he wants to be on the floor, being on the floor when he wants to be picked up.

You would think his big brother was bullying him but come dinner time it's Eddie who drives Ernie off the food. No surprise then that Eddie was the first kitten to manage to climb onto the dining table.

Mostly though they are either testing everything they can get their paws on to destruction or snuggled up together asleep.

TS finds them particularly helpful when he is getting ready for work.

Eric & Ernie ....and Eddie

2008-05-30T12:08:00.006+02:00

We used to have a ginger and white cat called Eric. He was a one off was Eric. He took everything in his stride. A car journey? He would sit on your knee looking out of the window. A trip to the vets? within seconds of being taken out of his basket he would be rolling on his back for his tummy tickling. A strange dog barking at him? No no back arching and spitting just a cool stare and then a good talking to. Oh he never shut up he gave everyone a running commentry on his life and as he got older he would even wander round muttering to himself. Age didn't slow him down and when we tried to keep him in at night worried about his deafness and less than cat like sense of balance he pulled the cat flap clean off the door.

So all our resolutions of no more kittens went out of the window when we saw his double.

We sat last night trying to come up with a name there could never be another Eric but we wanted something connected. Then TS came up with Ernie. Perfect! A name forever linked with Eric at least for anyone British of our age and older. And his little stripey brother? Well he's Eddie just because he is.

Sissy is highly alarmed by the new additions and is staying out of reach on the sofa. She is such a wimp! But she likes cats and when they get past the "are they small or just far away?" spooky stage she'll enjoy their company.

The Kindness of Strangers

2008-05-27T21:12:00.001+02:00

My troubles are over thanks to a nice Mr Chaney Boswell. Don't tell anyone though it's confidential!

From. Mr. Chaney Boswell.Abidjan, Ivoiry Coast West Africa. Confidentiel message. Attn: I am writing this mail to you from my residence because of how confidential it is and this letter contains some confidential materials and should be deleted from your mail box if you are unable to help me out concerning the proposal. I am the director of international remittance in a bank here in Abidjan Cote D扞voire as an accountant foreign operation department. In the discharge of my duty, Stumbled on this domiciliary account that has remained dormant for three years now with Fifteen Million Dollars ($15M) in it. I contacted my director and we sent out staff for enquiries and discovered that the account holder died in Auto-crash without leaving any next of kin to the fund deposit. I am writing you so that we can work with you to remit the fund into your account as the next of kin. It is simple process which will take a short while to process. outside this, the bank management will confiscate the money if there is no one that comes for the fund as you will be acting as the appointed beneficiary to the fund of which the depositor deposited the fund in the suspense account and a Foreign Partner is his next of kin which he did not indicated. If I hear from you, I will tell you all you need to know about the fund deposit for us to proceed with the transaction. I want you to know that this business involves I and one top officer in our bank and must not be taken as a joke, I advice you to think very well before responding because we need a very strong hand in this transaction. Your percentage and other important details will be discussed once I confirm your kind willingness in helping to the transfer.
Thanks, Mr. Chaney Boswell.

Raining

2008-05-27T17:32:00.003+02:00

The train station at Limoges.

Rather nice eh? Debs at Us in France tells me it looks pretty good on the inside too. Maybe we'll go somewhere one day and find out.

I didn't even know it was the train station till we somehow got diverted round the one way system and came at it from a different angle.

This photo was taken the last time there was a hint of blue in the sky. Which feels like months ago but was probably last week.

The rain has meant constant slug patrols to guard the newly emerging carrots and newly planted out pumpkins and cucumbers. This entails me walking round the garden with my "slug tin" and a stick for maneuvering slugs into the tin. When the tin is full, or a slug looks like escaping I take it down to the woods and empty it. Well more accurately I fling the slugs as far into the woods as I can. TS takes a more direct approach and picks them up and flings them individually (urghhh).

Snails and little slugs get fed to the chickens (harsh but fair they eat our food so get eaten by the chooks who provide us with eggs so we still get our food, indirectly). I've mentioned before, I think, that our chickens won't eat the big really slimey slugs which is why the big slugs get flung instead. I don't know why I can't bring myself to directly kill them but it just doesn't seem right somehow.

No feeding to the chickens or flinging it's so much more humane.

Not so Fast

2008-05-24T20:02:00.004+02:00

Tootling around in Frogmella as is our want. What do we see but sheep spilling out into the road. Oh no! look out!

No gentle reader do not panic these are not sheep but sleeping policemen of the French variety.

"Oh those heartless Frenchies" I hear you cry. But fear not for no sheep were harmed in the calming of this traffic. These are the concrete sheep of Mézières-sur-Issoire.
Convincing aren't they? Well they are when you are tootling along through the town. Close up they do look just a little naff. With strange pointy mousey faces.

They are strategically placed on the major roads through the town to slow the traffic. At least we think that's what they are for. Maybe someone on the council just likes sheep

I Am An Internaut

2008-05-16T17:35:00.004+02:00

Following our run in with the law we thought we'd better get on to sorting out registering our ownership of Frogmella and whilst in the mood for venturing into Limoges and looking officialdom in the eye, why not get TS registered as self employed to increase our employment options?

The saga started Tuesday when our very good friend Elizabeth from Limousin Property Shop . (very very very good friend. What else can you call someone who will drive for an hour to do you a favour and then be surprised and delighted when you offer to pay for the coffees, bless her she is one in a million).

Anyway it started Tuesday. First job was to go to our local Mairie to get the right form for the car. We thought at this point (naive!) that we were going to the Marie to actually sort this out. No we were given the right form and instructions on where to go in Limoges to sort it out and what to take with us.

In the mean time Elizabeth had rung to check what we needed to do for TS to register and where to go. So the printer was red hot photocopying our life's archives passports, birth certificates, marriage certificate, driving licences, utility bills, bank statements, school report from the fourth year (kidding! or am I?). And we thought "Great! we can get all this done in an afternoon with the aid of our French speaking friend"

There will now be a pause while we and everyone else who lives in France laughs hysterically.

To be fair we did loose an hour by getting lost in the one way system and not being able to park.

Then we went to where we thought we should go only to find out we should actually be somewhere else at the other side of the city centre. So we hopped into Elizabeth's car to go where we ought to. There we (well Elizabeth) spoke to a very nice lady who couldn't actually help us but promised to pass TS's dossier on to the person who could the very next day. This person would ring Elizabeth if they had any questions.

And she did the very next day. We were impressed!

In the mean time the very next day we went back to Limoges to sort out the car registration as by the time we had finished at the right place where they couldn't actually help us at that moment in time the Prefecture was closed.

We went in a took a ticket. Good system I thought. It was. The only problem was the 33 people in front of me in the queue. Anyway to cut a long wait short I presented all the right documents got a slip of paper in return then queued at the paying for the car registration desk and YAY ! got the new Carte Grise (car registration document).

Do you know I have lost the will to live just recounting this so I will race to the finish and tell you that another two trips into Limoges later TS is registered as self employed in the business of Computer and Internet Services and Gardening. His title? Chef D'Enterprise.

I am consumed with envy at this important title as I am now classed as his dependent (then again I always did want to be a kept woman), but my time as 34th in the queue was not wasted oh no for I learnt a new French word whilst watching the information screen going round and round. I am an internaut ! So much more dashing don't you think than internet surfer.

ps the park is the Jardin Moulin Pinard which we found when we were lost at some point over the last week.

Will it won't it Shall I shan't I

2008-05-12T19:59:00.003+02:00

Don't know how long I can hang around tonight the thunder is thundering in the distance which means the internet thingy will soon have to be unplugged or risk being fried.

It's been lovely and sunny today and once more the rain on the weather forecast seems to have moved back a day. May is a time of bank holidays and thunder storms and of me dithering about if I should water the garden or not. The sky looks awfully promising there could be lots of rain or it could just pass us by.

My seeds could be sad little dried up things or they could be floating away down the road. Decisions decisions.

I have also learned why lots of people round here have what look like little bus shelters over their tomatoes. For thunder storms can bring hail stones as well as rain. After running round the other day trying to cover mine up with bits of plastic while getting pelted with hail I shall have a bus shelter for mine next year. You live and learn.

Oh I almost forgot, we got stopped by the police yesterday whilst tootling about in Frogmella. It was most embarrassing as TS suddenly couldn't find first gear, or any other for that matter, to move to the designated being pulled up by the police spot. When we eventually got there and they asked for our documents we just shoved everything barring Sissy's pet passport at them.

The policeman tried and failed to speak English to us and we tried and failed to speak French to them so I guess we were quits. At least TS didn't break into Greek which he has been known to do under pressure a new twist on "it's all Greek to me". Incidently the equivalent Greek saying is it's Chinese. You really needed to know that didn't you.

Verte-ually a car

2008-05-08T15:47:00.006+02:00

At the first sign of work involving driving about naturally our car went to pieces.

This meant an SOS for a cheap car that didn't use much fuel, that was cheap and drivable and most of all cheap. So here is Frogmella who fits the bill admirably.

A 21 year old Citroen AX with a somewhat younger engine who had been languishing unloved and unwanted in a friend's neighbour's barn.

Unbelievably she passed her CT (kind of like an MOT but lasts for two years) first time. Should she have any problems also included in the deal was a huge sack of spare parts that would almost make another car. Not that we would know what to do with them of course, well TS might. Luckily our French car insurance includes breakdown cover.

We will now blend in with the locals and as long as we keep our mouths shut, could be mistaken for French. That is as soon as we get up the nerve to tailgate other cars on long straight bits of road then overtake on blind corners or the brow of a hill.

Did I mention she was really cheap? To you guv 300 euros and 2 hooligan pumpkin seedlings

Good moaning

2008-05-05T23:05:00.004+02:00

Finally today we got to our first proper French lesson.

The ones we enquired about oh last Octoberish.

I've really tried, honest I have, to buck the system and get things moving even to the point of trying to get someone round to give lessons while we were in Leeds but to no avail. I was beginning to think I was cursed to spend the rest of my life having the poor lady in the bread shop explain the difference between saying "I'd like two croissants AND two pain au raisins" and "I'd like two croissants OR two pain au raisins"

So today we have done days of the week, months of the year, bonjours and aurevoirs, thank yous and excuse mes. All of which I know but I am trying to get a proper grip of things to fill in the gaps and I thought going back to the beginning was the best way to learn all those pesky little making sentences words that get you beyond talking like a two year old and asking for socks of apples when you mean apple turnovers. On the down side it will probably make life very dull for the local shop keepers.

I always have a mental picture of myself as the policeman in Allo Allo (though he is probably better than me) as I wander round The Limousin generating gallic shrugs in my wake

Other than that we have mostly been doing the garden and I'm pleased to report that Bristish hooligans will soon be rampaging all over the place. Hooligan pumpkins of course.

Bring me my gin

2008-05-02T21:33:00.003+02:00

A hot sunny day yippee!

The Dinnerladies needed the use of the parasol for a bit of shade. I think they were waiting for drinks to be served too but they had to make do with nibbles.

The dry weather gave us the chance to plant out some peas, beans and chard and more flower seeds and generally do what we like best and spend the whole day in our garden.

TS took over the job of weeding the Bermuda Triangle which is the flower bed at the side of the house (well a triangular shaped bit of land) into which hours and hours of weeding and planting go without it actually looking any less like a bomb site. I think after about ten wheelbarrows full of weeds, broken bricks, bits of plastic and broken glass it now almosts looks like part of a garden if a bit bald. I softened it up for him last week though!

I was busy doing stuff

2008-04-29T00:38:00.003+02:00

Hi remember me?

We've been home for two weeks now and I just don't know where they have gone. Obviously I have been doing stuff but what was it?

Well out of the last six days five have been spent gardening. Unfortunately only two of those on our garden. We got three days work gardening for someone else on the cheque d'emploi system. This is a way of legally doing casual work in France. The people employing you get a special cheque book to pay you with and the powers that be automatically add social security payments into the amount they pay. If you are interested there is more about the system here.

Well, when I say gardening job it was more akin to slash and burn as it involved clearing copious amounts of brambles, broom (which really is a weed here) and hawthorn from a plot that is going to be a brilliant orchard. It has a long south facing wall and it's own spring fed irrigation system. I was a trifle envious (read dark dark green) both of the plot and the fruit trees waiting in the wings. In fact I think I may be turning into a true gardener as I coveted that plot far more than the rather posh house it belonged to. The trouble was as the weather got hotter the slight slope somehow turned into a cliff face without it actually drying out all the brambles and broom and hawthornes enough to make a really good bonfire and complete the burn side of the whole operation leaving the garden clearance slightly less clear than one would hope. Just where is that Ray Mears when you need him?

Anyway back to our rather more humble Chateau La Pants where we have spent the last two days hauling horse poo, weeding and planting stuff. Oh but not enough stuff by a long chalk. We have leeks, cauliflowers, onions, tomatoes and salad leaves in the ground, peas, beans, pumpkins and squashes in our mini greenhouse thing hopefully sprouting and raspberries and currants newly planted in the orchard. On the decorative front (for we are determined to have a beautiful AND productive garden this year) we have a summer flowering jasmin, geraniums, gladioli, dahlias and crocosmia planted out with sweet peas and nastursiums in the greenhousy thing. That only leaves umpteen other things to sow in the ground or in pots and about half the garden still to clear of weeds. But we look like we have had our bit of sunshine for the week and the ground is still waterlogged.

So all in all this accounting of my time is a bit like trying to balance my cheque book. I can justify less than half of my expenditure. It's not surprising I never have any money or get through half the stuff I want to do. All I can say on both counts is, if I didn't spend it well at least I was mostly having fun probably.

Like so many of my school reports it's "must ty harder" and "could achieve so much more if only she would apply herself" and look now it's half one in the morning and I only just got round to the post I was going to do a week ago and I still have to get a good night's sleep then plant more stuff and go to the bank and do the laundry and get more potting compost and clean out the chickens and pay the house insurance, buy chicken food . . .

Oh and I'm still rubbish at French and then there's the paperwork to sort and I need to check out what all of you are up to.

Frazzled moi?

Everything in the garden is luverley

2008-04-16T18:32:00.003+02:00

Except for the plank with the nail in it that I trod on this morning.

But I hobbled on heroic and undaunted and have got the leeks and cauliflowers in and made a promising start on the weeding.

We picked up three sacks and a dustbin full of really well rotted fumier cheval (horse poo) from our friend up the road this morning and we will be going back for more of this black gold throughout the next week or so until we run out of space to dig it into the soil or she gets sick of seeing us. I'm hoping this is going to ensure a bumper harvest.

The Dinnerladies came home yesterday from their holidays and escaped from their run the minute we left the garden. "Oh they don't bother trying to get out under the gaps" Debra had said. Well obviously not at Chez Us in France where there were constant deliveries of treats and tit bits. I just knew they'd be legging it off down the road for the finer things in life the moment they got the chance. Ah but they blessed us with four eggs this morning so I forgive them their fickle little ways.

Oh and the sun has been shining all day. Fab

On a High

2008-04-14T20:52:00.005+02:00

I feel good

Dooby doobidy doo

I knew that I would now

I feel good

Dooby doobidy doo

(yes I know you thought James Brown was in the room with you for a moment there)

Anyway I do feel . . .

Good so good

Yesterday was another story altogether I was happy to be home but the journey left me the most travel sick I have been since I don't know when. We had to make a sharp exit from Debra's place as it hit me hard as soon as we sat round her kitchen table. Then when I went to bed the room was spinning. Oh but today I'm completely and utterly with it and enjoying being back to the full.

Already there have been purchases of leeks for the garden and potting compost.

You would of had a picture of the violets we spotted in the woods this morning but we forgot to put the card in the camera so in lieu this is Mortemart. There's a plant fair there this weekend and I shall be rushing around it clutching my hard earned euros tightly in my fist. Who knows I might even prise it open and buy something.

Tomorrow we'll be going to buy the basic groceries like butter and bread that completely slipped our minds today in all the giddy excitement of leeks and compost (oh we know how to live we do). That's after we reclaim the Dinnerladies from Deb's place where they have been right royally looked after.

Then I need to dig over the garden and plant the leeks, peas, broad beans, carrots, onions, cauliflowers and all the flower seeds oh and the dahlias and gladioli.

Don't know what we'll be doing after lunch.

Going going ......

2008-04-12T08:58:00.003+02:00

Can't hang around lots to do today

Cheddar cheese and tins of spaghetti to buy. Last minute washing to do. Car to fill up.

Thank you Martin for providing the lodgings and the rather fab pestle and mortar

See you on the other side

Change it's as good as a rest

2008-04-08T21:30:00.004+02:00

I've nothing much to say so I thought I'd add an award and change my background colour in the hopes of making you all think there was something happening here.

I could do Wooly's meme I suppose. Should I do you think? These are the rules

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So . . . 7 facts

1 My evening viewing is currently dominated by Scrubs and Monkey Business neither of which I watched till I've been staying with my brother (who I really should thank for the free lodgings without him our imminent return home would not be possible). Which leads to two questions

a)How will I cope without knowing what is happening to JD and all those primates even though it all happened years ago?
b)Is anyone actually making NEW telly programmes?

2 I got a bronze medal for disco dancing in the dim and distant eighties I was even wearing leg warmers at the time. Come to think of it you probably only had to turn up in the leg warmers to get the medal

3 I am really jealous of the students at the Geography Dept where I am working at the moment when I see the titles of their dissertations (god how nerdy is that?). So I have learnt that geography is in fact not just ox bow lakes. Although I still maintain that it is that ox bow lake nonsense that is taking up the brain cells that would otherwise enable me to learn French.

4 I'm scared of geese and they know it

5 Leading on from 4 I have a very strong instinct for self preservation and will always ensure that TS is between me and any geese. In the same way as I will also check that I could trample anyone between me and the emergency exit on the plane and quite unconsciously stepped just out of reach when TS was about to grab me for support when he was slipping in mud. It's not pretty but there you are I can't be relied on to sacrifice myself in a crisis.

6 I have a craving for liquorice tea and I absolutely have to buy some before we go back to France. I'll then have one or two cups and leave it to moulder in the back of a cupboard.

7 I'm not really material or into gadgets (except for those little magazines with the big slippers in) but I long for one of those Mac Air Books. You know the advert where they are slipping it out of the A4 envelope. It is just so so perfect.

That's my 7 then and you have no idea how long it took me to come up with them. TS suggested I included my special trying on clothes face but I don't think you need to know about that surely the leg warmers are bad enough.

Feel free to come up with your seven or even one or two. I nominate everyone on my side bar.

Nearly there

2008-03-27T19:09:00.003+01:00

Just over two weeks to go now so of course time has slowed to a snail's pace.

Today though was broken up nicely. I am finishing my latest assignment tomorrow and they took me out for lunch to thank me for my hard work. How good is that? Not the sort of treatment us temps are used to but I could become accustomed to it. I wouldn't recommend it from a productivity point of view, I'm sitting here still stuffed to the gills with Italian food and I really didn't like to ring anyone this afternoon as I was just a little bit giddy from the wine and we won't mention the garlic breath. We don't need to TS and my brother haven't stopped telling me I stink since I got home, perhaps I should of had a nibble on the parsley garnish.

My next assignment, should I choose to accept it, which of course I will, is for two weeks at another department in the Uni so that's me fully employed till I go home.

Well what did you think?

2008-03-21T21:21:00.005+01:00

Of course we went to the garden centre!

Added to my collection now is

salsify - because I have never tasted it but the name reminds me of the Beverley Hill Billies so of course we had to have it even if it does look suspiciously like parsnips

coriander - well with all these curries

hooligan pumpkins - these are mini pumpkins which grow to about 3 inches in diameter - perfect for stuffing and baking or microwaving apparently - they look so cute on the packet and even if they are yuk they will make great Halloween decorations (does that smack of over justification?)

lemongrass - curries

lots of salad leaves - because obviously this year we are going to have a long hot Summer and they will be absolutely essential

borage - essential for long cool drinks throughout the above mentioned long hot summer

Oh and cornflowers and helichrysums.

I think we may have enough stuff to be going on with now but with the tunnel is booked for the 14th so all too many shopping days to fill before then I'm afraid. Maybe we'll get snowed in and I'll be saved from myself

Holiday holiday holiday time

2008-03-21T08:08:00.003+01:00

Ah the Easter break.

So why did I still wake up at 6.30? At first I felt deprived but do you know I could get to like this getting up before the rest of the house. Especially on a bright sunny morning when I don't have to dash about doing anything.

It's a long bank holiday for me I'm not working till Wednesday now. I feel the call of the garden centre already. The question is should I do the shopping, cleaning, washing chores today or rush off and buy seeds.

It's a giddy exciting whirl of a life folks no wonder I couldn't sleep.

Get me

2008-03-16T23:32:00.003+01:00

I can do beef madras now.

Just thought I'd share that with you as I'm rather proud.

Gardening by shopping

2008-03-15T08:45:00.005+01:00

The collection of plants that we were not going to buy and take back with us is steadily growing. That is the size of the collection not the plants. Although I'm having to hang on tightly to my common sense here and not buy pots and compost to start some off.

We now have
Chilli pepper seeds which I absolutely positively was not going to bother with

Onion sets at least I didn't fall for the seeds again

A mixture of aubergine seeds which is a bit strange as neither of us like them over much but they are special ones and look pretty (they are so)

Some multi coloured chard which is actually a really sensible buy (honest) as I wanted some last year and couldn't find the seeds in France

Carrots and dwarf peas - they were a bargain couldn't pass them up

Mushroom seeds (or whatever it is that mushrooms have) well TS has always wanted some

Dahlias which I would normally say I don't like but I saw lots last year in big informal blousy patches as opposed to rows for competitions and cut flowers. So I'm changing my mind.

Gladioli - move over Dame Edna.

So far the investment has been modest and easy to rationalise. We could stop buying seeds just like that. It's not like we're addicted or anything.

Four weeks and counting

Normal Service?

2008-03-05T09:46:00.003+01:00

I've just noticed how rubbish my spelling is and those tippy tappy typing mistakes are creeping in all over.

It's the rush of city life folks it's taking me over and my poor little fingers just can't keep up. They want to be gardening fingers weeding and planting seeds and such or chicken wrangling fingers collecting eggs and giving out treats.

NOrmal service will soon be resumed I just thought I'd tell you since I somehow managed to get to work half an hour early and I don't have to impress anyone by actually looking like I'm going to start work before nine.

Temping - the pay is crap but you can be too

The Measure of a Meal

2008-03-02T13:19:00.002+01:00

For some reason I have been glued to the last two episodes of Masterchef. I haven't watched this in ages and it's a far cry from Lloyd Grossman I can tell you. But then again you probably know this.

Instead of making their best three courses chosen by themselves the poor contestents are now given a series of very scary challenges like cooking for Michelin starred chefs and weddings and stuff. It's edge of the seat stuff I can tell you.

Inspired I decided to up the stakes in my cooking this week. Emboldened by the switch from Khaki Flosam & Jetsam Vegetable Soup to soup with named ingredients and real colours I thought I know I'll do a curry from scratch, then when we finally get back to our little corner of paradise TS will only be missing real ale.

Off I went to the co-op since TS was unavailable for shopping expeditions seeing as he was back on his favourite job. I bought the garum masala, cumin, tumeric, coriander, chilli etc etc. Called in the butchers for some diced lamb. Went back to the co-op for yoghourt and ginger. Went home checked out recipes. Went back to the co-op for onions and naan bread.

In the end I got sick of going to the co-op and settled on Lamb Rogan Josh accompanied by Saag Aloo and Naan Bread. No more hotline to Ali's Curry House I thought as I chopped the onions and laid all the spices out on a little dish like they do on the telly programs. Then I made my very first curry from scratch.

TS was duly appreciative of the spicy scents wafting round the house when he got in from the first part of his 14 hours counting taxis. I filled up his plate and he made all the right noises.

Then today he admitted yes it seemed to have all the right ingredients but it didn't quite come together. "But I ate it all" he said "that's the true measure of a meal". Which would of been comforting except it came from someone who eats tins of beans with sausages in them.

Better not throw that takeaway number away just yet I guess.

I wanted this title in text speak but I don't know any

2008-02-27T22:46:00.003+01:00

Did I say nothing ever happens here?

Proof positive last night that it's just me. We had an earthquake. 5 point whatever. The bed shook and everything. I somehow managed to incorporate it a third into a dream, a third into the wind gusting outside and a third into the dog scratching.

I can vaguely remember wondering what was going on, getting up and going to the loo then going back to sleep. Just what would have to happen for me to take notice. I have visions of the world ending one day while I'm stood at the bus stop wondering where everyone else got to.

The funniest thing I heard about the earthquake was from a work colleague who said her daughter sent her a text to ask what was happening. I'm still chuckling in disbelief. The daughter was just in the next bedroom by the way.

I still haven't got the hang of this texting thing. I'm so bad at it that I turned the beeping off on my phone so no one could hear how slow I was. The whole office used to take the p*** . Now I just don't use one at all.

Which is why when you lot are all texting each other about the apocolypse I'll be stood at the bus stop.

Sunday Blogger

2008-02-24T19:41:00.001+01:00

Do you think it's a bit like a Sunday driver? Whatever I've no time to dawdle about on the leafy less travelled bits there's a queue forming behind me.

One PC and internet connection between three adults does lead to the tiniest bit of tension. My brother is looking at something to do with Leeds United or cheap holidays, TS is looking out for a bargain on e bay, I want to flit about and see what my imaginary friends in the blog world are up to. We all think the others are rubbish drivers hogging the middle lane of the information superhighway.

Anyway enough of the driving analogy already. It's not like I even like driving. It's just all padding because I can't think of anything to blog about. The times I can I'm at work, or walking the dog, or shopping or at the back of the PC queue.

I quite like getting the bus though especially if I can get a seat next to the window. Then I sit and day dream or notice that everyone outside is wearing black or everyone is looking miserable and walking really fast. Actually I notice quite a lot of other things about people but I don't want you to know what I bitch I really am.

But I will say

Boys - baggy jeans showing your undies - not a good look when you have a fat bum, even less so if you (or was it your Mum?) have tucked your vest in your undies

Just don't get me started on the girls

Happy Blogaversary To Me

2008-02-17T18:58:00.003+01:00

Yes I have been blogging for a whole year today.

Strangely enough a year later and I'm in almost the same place but different.

I am staying at my brother's again (same brother, well only brother, different house) waiting to go off to France to fill our garden with food, do the house up etc. etc.

But another year older is another year wiser so I have been looking on e-bay at bits and bobs to take back with us like kitchen units that are strangely expensive in our bit of France where people don't chuck everything out and go for a new look kitchen, living room etc every few years.

I won't be taking umpteen packets of veg seeds, except I have already bought six on a whim yesterday but they were only 29p each so maybe I will. But I won't make the mistake of putting them in too early or trying to give plants a good start in crap compost. And I will plant some stuff that will produce food into the winter like chard. I'll also be planting squashes because I've discovered that I do like them to eat as well as to look at. I will not however, be trying to grow onions or leeks from seed. I'll buy a punnet of 50 little leeks for 5 euros and a bag or two of onion sets instead. I'll also buy pepper plants and chilli plants and probably tomato plants because we have nowhere warm and light enough to start them off.

I'll also be working on making the garden pretty as well as productive so that we can enjoy sitting out there even more. Whilst still feeling guilty that we're not doing up the house or something else useful.

All in all I'm just as excited as I was this time last year but I know a little bit more. Maybe I'll direct my energies better and finish some jobs. More likely I'll just find a whole new lot not to finish. At least we'll be starting off with heating, washing and cooking facilities even if we are still on the blow up bed. That has to count for something. Right?

My cuppa soup runneth over

2008-02-10T21:21:00.000+01:00

The useless B's at the paper shop have sold me a defective lottery ticket yet again. This means that instead of winning 96 million on Friday and buying a rather nice chateau on Saturday I am faced with another working week.

So Saturday I moved to item 2 on my shopping list and bought some veg, soup for the making of. I have moved on from Khaki Flotsom & Jetsom (this is what TS calls my normal veg soup)and created Butternut Squash Soup in a very nice shade of orange and Pea Soup in a fairly alarming shade of green. The Tomato and Red Pepper has somehow morphed into a rice salad but hey ho it all looks very nice sitting in the fridge ready for next week.

Moonroot tagged me the other day. Thank goodness. Now instead of trying to find something interesting to post about I can rest on my laurels a bit

Archive Meme Instructions: Go back through your archives and post the links to your five favorite blog posts that you’ve written. … but there is a catch:

Link 1 must be about family.
Link 2 must be about friends.
Link 3 must be about yourself, who you are… what you’re all about.
Link 4 must be about something you love.
Link 5 can be anything you choose.

I think this is a great way to circulate some of the great older posts everyone had written, return to a few great places in our memories and also learn a little something about ourselves and each other that we may not know. Post your five links and then tag five other people. At least TWO of the people you tag must be *newer acquaintances so that you get to know each other better….and don’t forget to read the archive posts and leave comments

So here goes
Family - actually I don't exactly post anything about my family as such. It feels like talking about them behind their backs. However my brother does get mentioned in passing here
Friends - Mmm same as the above (how rubbish am I at this meme?)
Myself - Oh it's all about me me me really but here's where I discovered painting the house white
Something I love - Well it has to be TS doesn't it? The God of Chickens with a mongoose obsession
Anything I choose - It's Chicken Run I love these photos of Mimo, Sissy and the Dinnerladies even though it still makes me feel sad that Mimo isn't with us any more

So which lucky people shall I pass this on to?

Aims - because we are discovering such hidden depths with her
and

Travelling But Not in Love - cos he's a fairly new aquaintance

Still here

2008-02-04T17:49:00.000+01:00

but nothing much is happening I'm afraid.

This week I am still at the Uni but in a different department. Working 10 while 3.30 which is very nice as far as the whole sleeping till you wake up thing goes but not much good to someone who just wants to grab all the cash she can and go home.

Some things I'm appreciating that I didn't know I had missed are

being called love by all and sundry (a Leeds/Northern habit even the men call each other love)

evesdropping on the bus

living in a "finished" house and work being finished when you finish work

and having the use of a broadband connection that really is broad. In fact I bet Us In France's connection is so fast, now we're not there, that she's in danger of being sucked in.

Some things I'm missing are

The Dinnerladies - no silly chicken antics (though I have heard a rooster) and no eggs - I had one bite of a supermarket free range egg and had to throw it away it had a really strange harsh metallic taste

birdsong - nothing much to be seen round here but magpies and while they have a good sense of humour they just can't be described as tuneful

stars - that last little walk with Sissy before we go to bed looking up at the stars and next door's Christmas lights (I wonder if he's taken them down yet).

All in all though it's not as bad as I feared just kind of dull.

Got up, went to work . . .

2008-01-28T19:38:00.000+01:00

We've been here a week now.

I've had four goes at the getting up, going to work, coming home, going to bed thing. The current assignment (I quite like that word makes it all sound much more like something) is for a week and a day in the cash office of the Uni taking tuition fee payments etc.

As jobs go it's not bad. I'm getting to be a dab hand with the cards and the chip and pin machine. I am a bit rubbish with the real money though. I've never had a job before that required cash handling skills. In fact I've never had a life that required them. So while my expert colleague performs like a stage magician with a deck of cards, I'm the comedy juggler. The money gets dropped on the floor, I loose track of where I was in the counting or most embarrassing of all start going 10, 20, 30 and so on when I am in fact counting £20 notes and should be going 20, 40 , 60. Thank goodness someone invented money weighing machines or I'd still be counting last week's takings.

I might get the hang of money by Friday.

Wonder what I'll be doing next week

Ode to Joy

2008-01-23T19:08:00.000+01:00

We're here then after a pretty uneventful journey for us.

Not only did we make it in time for our Channel Tunnel crossing we got there ahead of schedule and went through half an hour early. Though I suppose that does keep the record of never actually getting on the crossing we've booked unbroken.

We set off about 11am and got to Leeds about midnight as we saw the city spread out before us what was on the radio? Beethoven's Ode to Joy.

Good omen or The Universe having a laugh?

And the Winner Is . . .

2008-01-18T14:43:00.000+01:00

Time is winging it's way on and we are making some very half hearted preparations for going back to the UK.

I have typed up my CV and sent it to half a dozen temp agencies. This has had me thinking about my career history. History as someone famous who's name I can't remember said is "one damn thing after another". My CV is just one damn job after another. So here's some of my career highlights that I couldn't fit in.

Most boring job - This is a huge field but I think I sank to an all time low as a receptionist on a reception that no one ever came into. I was so bored that I sat seeing how much I could move before the movement detector on the alarm system detected me and not just the once either.

Most Difficult Job - I don't mean to sound big headed when I say that I haven't really found many jobs difficult. Sure there have been difficult moments like telling a woman to stop e-mailing the young man she was paying to have sex with her and do some work and other such disciplinary stuff. Generally though I set the bar on my ambitions low and skipped over it. So it came as something as a surprise when I couldn't manage it at it's lowest. I had a temp job making sandwiches. The kind of sandwiches that come in plastic wedges. But hey at least I got to wear a white coat (and a hair net and wellies and rubber gloves) My role in this critical operation was to put slices of cucumber on as they whizzed past on the production line. I was crap. I just didn't have it when it came to cucumbering sandwiches and either missed them completely or had to chase them down the factory. To my eternal shame I got moved to a less demanding role.

Most Embarrassing Moment - You can decide
Walking out of a meeting room and into cupboard while everyone else was still sitting round the table.
Getting the giggles (serious ones with tears and everything)and not being able to stop while everyone else is having a really serious conversation about installing an automatic disabled toilet being a "really big job".
Having your mobile play the Laurel & Hardy tune while the CEO is talking about the company's goals for the coming year

Most Exciting Job - I live in hope

Neck Yer Chickens Missus

2008-01-14T18:24:00.000+01:00

It's been a busy few days. For me at least. TS has been idling on the sofa since Saturday while I have been digging the garden, chopping wood, moving the chickens about, cooking, cleaning, virtual assisting.

Alright I knew you wouldn't believe that of him! Actually he's had a bad back due to the little comedy of errors described here . I think he may of given up on his ambition to be "The Finest Woodsman in the Whole of France" (it only works if you do the Inspector Clueso accent). He certainly can't do the hand on hip manly chest thrown out pose that goes with that claim at the moment.

So today I was poking about in the barn looking for easy bits of scrap wood to cut up when a white van pulled up and a swarthy looking chap got out. We did the obligatory bonjour handshake stuff, then he said could he take the scrap metal next to the barn. The aforementioned scrap is actually some sort of cutting thing that goes on a tractor which TS had decided a few months ago might be worth something so it has been lying there ever since. I'm sick of the sight of it and sick of telling various scrap metal people that no they can't take it but they can buy it if they like. Taking advantage of the fact that TS was incapacitated I said yes take it.

That's a good thing about here actually you can't hire skips to take rubbish away (at least not cheaply and easily) but leave just about anything in the way or scrap metal or knackered furniture, fridges, cookers at the side of the road and someone will pull up within a couple of days and ask if they can take it. If that fails the commune will send someone out to pick it up if you phone them but we've never had to yet.

The conversation then moved on to anything else we might want to get rid of but we already had a bunch of people round last week who got all the remotely saleable things out of the barn that we didn't want. The next talking point was how long we had had the house and was there a lot of work to do on it at which point the guy produced a flyer advertising his painting and decorating company and said he also did tiling.

Finally, spotting the Dinnerladies in their swanky new run he said something about chickens which I didn't get. I used my favourite phrase "je ne comprend pas" he then mimed wringing a chicken's neck.

It's tough making a living in the Limousin you clearly have to turn your hand to anything.

I told him they were for eggs only and no we wouldn't be killing them when they stopped laying as they were pets, or I might of said they were my familiars, either way he got the message. It's weird actually all the French people you speak to about your chickens want to know if you are going to eat them. Maybe it's because they know us English won't so it's a joke or maybe it's just the French obsession with eating.

Sunny Days and Rainy Days

2008-01-10T18:21:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was completely unremarkable yet quite perfect.

It was sunny and mild so we spent most of the day pottering about in the garden.

First of all a funeral pyre for the old chicken house, then digging over the ground where the chickens have been, turning and building up the compost pile, clearing bits of wood and stones, pruning the raspberries generally tidying up.

All the while we were making plans about what we were going to try growing this year and where we were going to put it, watching the antics of the chickens, admiring the robin who was flitting about checking out the newly turned soil and compost heap.

Nothing major going on then just a feeling of quiet contentment.

Today, well it's been raining and I've booked Sissy into the vets on the 21st for her pre return to the UK tick and tapeworm treatment and the three of us on to the channel Tunnel for the 22nd.

Thank goodness the vet receptionist speaks some English between us on the phone we managed to establish what I wanted and when I wanted it (I hope). The phone has to be the most difficult way to communicate in a foreign language but at least I can cheat a bit and have babelfish open for when I really get really stuck. I am getting better though. I have taken to keeping telesales people on the phone until I get the gist of what they are trying to sell me or they get frustrated and hang up. They must think they've hit the jackpot when they first get through poor things only to find out they are really giving me free French lessons.

So 22nd Jan UK here we come. Assuming of course that I've booked the right thing at the vets, Sissy's microchip hasn't gone missing, the car doesn't break down, we don't win the lottery . . .

. . . good job I only have just over a week to think about it

Chateau Les Chooks New Improved Version

2008-01-09T17:32:00.000+01:00

Inspired by Sydney Opera House, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and an air raid shelter the new actually movable, by TS and a complete stranger who was just passing by taking down the village Christmas lights, chicken house was unveiled early this afternoon.

Based on a pallet and an old tea chest and faced with PVC tongue and groove there are perches in the front for roosting and a nice big four chicken sized nest box at the back since that's where our girls seem to prefer to sleep anyway.

The chooks were wildly excited. Not so much by their new quarters but by the fact that they are actually back on grass instead of the big pile of hay that I kept adding to in the movable sized run that was not moving anywhere and was rapidly turning into a swamp. In fact they are so excited that even though it is dark and raining they have still not gone to bed.

News Flash - they have gone now and are making sleepy happy chicken bed time noises.

The only drawback with this design (which TS wants me to point out was constructed under extremely difficult circumstances in the barn with inadequate tools, bits of wood and almost no light) is that it is not raised up to provide shade and/or shelter from the rain. This is easily sorted by a piece of tarp over half the run.

As soon as each bit of ground gets weeded, debugged and manured we'll move them on to the next bit.

Voila! as us French folk say

No more Mrs Mardy Pants

2008-01-04T14:19:00.000+01:00

I've been having a wander round various blogs reading about what people have achieved over the last year and what their plans are for this year. Quite inspirational really. So I thought instead of being Mrs Yah Boo I've Got To Go Back To The UK Mardy Pants I would have a look back over what we've done this year that we never did before and maybe make some New Year resolutions that I can kick myself later for not achieving (oops Mardy Pants keeps raising her head bear with me while I give her a quick slap)

1) I have achieved my long held dream of sleeping till I wake up for nine whole months. This means not getting up at 6am in the dark and dragging the poor dog off for a walk in pissy cold wet rain before joining in the wacky races on the M62 to get to a job that sucks my soul away and saps my will to live (Ok it might not of been that bad but you know what I mean).

2) You might not of noticed. I know I hardly ever mention them but we have chickens. How did we ever manage without them? No more wondering if the eggs I'm buying are really free range and what sort of conditions the chickens were kept in. Plus they are a joy to watch. Unless you are watching them digging up someone else's garden that is and they talk to you and hum and make happy chicken noises. The eggs are almost a bonus. Lovely fresh eggs to make as much custard as you can eat with some to spare to give to friends and neighbours (eggs that is not custard).

3) Kind of leads me on to I made custard! Real custard not from a packet and jam and chutney and soup. Whole meals even from stuff I had to hand. From scratch.

4) And of course we grew food like potatoes and beans and peas and sweetcorn and salad and carrots and onions and cucumbers. I got past wondering if everything might have a maggot in it and not really be up to the standard of something grown by professionals and discovered that vegetables taste really really good when they are really really fresh and you've nurtured them and anticipated eating them for weeks and weeks. So much so that cooking them is fun and satisfying and rewarding. I've felt the soil in the garden warm up as Spring moved into Summer and I've actually been affected by what the weather is doing rather than just inconvenienced.

5) We've built internal walls in the house ( that very nearly reach the ceiling and will do if we ever finish them), plumbed pipes, fitted sinks and a toilet and a shower. We've discovered that a perfect looking house is not nearly as important when you're not compensating for not having control over other areas of your life. Although a scruffy shack can still be quite embarrassing especially when it looks the same as it did when someone called in months ago.

6) We've lived in a foreign country

Six of the best is enough to give you the flavour I think. So looking forward I will:-

1) Stop sulking because I am luckier than lots of folks

2) Learn more French

3) Grow more food

4) Cook and eat it with the respect it deserves.

5) Repay some of the hospitality and favours of the wonderful people we have gotten to know this year

6) Oh I don't know. I'm sure the list will be up to 60 by the end of the week

So this is 2008

2008-01-01T02:50:00.000+01:00

So eight courses and a bottle of wine later it's 2008

That was six hours spent on a meal folks. It's almost a full working day!

There was prawns, lobster, scallops, sea bass, foie gras, truffle soup, ravioli, sorbet, beef, smelly sock cheese (alright I passed on that one), chocolate mousse, mango mousse, more sorbet, tropical fruits, little chocolates coffee. I may never eat again.

I am now off to sleep the sleep of the over indulged if I can find somewhere to put my stomach

Happy New Year everyone

Back to Reality

2007-12-30T09:37:00.000+01:00

That's Christmas done and dusted then.

Just New Year's Eve to go (meal at a posh restaurant with Us in France) then life returns to normal whatever that is.

For us late January will mean a trip back to the UK for a couple of months to earn some money to see us through another Summer in France unless someone over here is rash enough to give us some work. This means we really will have to get on with manuring the veg beds ready to get cracking with the garden the minute we get back and get the coppice cut for next year.

TS learnt a new skill yesterday he can now drive a tractor including picking up a bale of hay on the spike thing on the front. I'm sure the temp agencies in the UK will be duly impressed. I got to feed the pet sheep and make a cup of tea. I can't be trusted with farm machinery. These things are part of our friend Miranda's ongoing efforts to make country folk of us. Whenever we call up to see her we get dragged into some activity. Well actually we get organised and bossed into it. It's kind of an attraction of opposites we find her archetypal horsiness (think Princess Anne)amusing and she finds our Yorkshire accents and towny ways hilarious.

The Dinnerladies are going down the road to Us in France for the duration. No doubt they won't want to come back by the time they have been spoilt by Debra with pasta and cat food.

Sissy will get to use her passport which cost an arm and a leg if I can work out the logistics of getting her through the Tunnel not less than 24 hours and not more than 48 hours after a tick and tapeworm treatment duly certified by the vet and assuming her microchip is still working and all the other things that I'll decide to obsess about that could be wrong with her paperwork. In fact I am already working out what we will have to do if they decide not to let her through ie turn round and drive back here.

I'm not looking forward to the UK at all not even a little bit I'll just have to pretend it's not happening.

Slightly less interesting than a fish sandwich

2007-12-23T18:08:00.000+01:00

Christmas the season of The Great Escape on tv and the season of the escape proof half a chicken tractor at the Breezy household. Finally, those pesky chooks have met their match in the the form of an archetypal chicken arc type run from which there is no escape.

They have tried. I've watched them inspecting every inch of chicken wire and gathering in the corners comparing notes. For two days now they have been stymied. It's great. No more climbing over the barbed wire to retrieve them from next door, no more walking up the road with a chicken under each arm.

In the fullness of time we will complete the moveable chicken house and Chateau La Chook will be retired in favour of Dunroamin (a nice little Swiss Chalet type design in my head) and then the Girls will get to do the gardening ready for next year's stunning crop of veggies. Optimistic? not really.

We are emerging from a horrible cold flu type of thing and one of the symptoms seems to be being really depressed and paranoid I'm sure it was the feeling of impending doom which finally motivated us to get on and get the run built.

It also motivated me to phone my mother. That and guilt. Now she hasn't got much of a grasp on why we want to be in France and do the things we do but she does like to hear about what the chickens have been up to as a rule. So I gave her a call "Hello Mam How are you?" "Martin's just brought me a fish sandwich" Clearly the conversation was over before it started.

So there you have it our life in France - slightly less interesting than a fish sandwich.

Enjoy.

More Christmas Stuff n Nonsense

2007-12-13T23:02:00.000+01:00

Ha Hah ! Christmas is almost sorted.

The spooky pathetic lights are up on the tree outside and the holly and mistletoe and shiny things are up inside.

We have been invited out for Christmas Dinner so my proud record of only ever cooking one remains unbroken (even then I somehow managed to let the turkey go off and had to make an emergency dash to blag half of my Mum and Dad's).

Sissy is also invited out with us for lunch which means our hostess will be cooking and serving it not in her house but in their gite next door.

You see Sissy lives up to her name she is a dog who is scared of everything. The chickens, plastic bags, new blankets, the sweeping brush . . .

"Lurchers" someone once said to us "they chase and kill everything" Not Sissy. Sissy pretends she can't see things other dogs would chase, she suddenly finds a blade of grass unusually interesting while looking at the "prey" out of the corner of her eye. Once any danger of catching it is past she will spring into action and then look at us as if to say "damn if my attention hadn't been caught by that grass I would of had that!"

The last time we took Sissy with us their elderly cat chased her through the cat flap (it is quite a big one the cat flap not the cat) So dinner will be served next door to make sure Sissy isn't bullied by their cat.

As for Christmas just buying presents, sending cards and getting the vittles in then. Work of a moment! (I wish)

Lighting up the town

2007-12-11T19:41:00.000+01:00

Christmas has come to our village. We arrived home today at dusk to find a single string of lights strung across the road from the village street light between us and strange other side next door neighbour. Yes not for us the garish displays of other nearby villages with their multiple strings of twinkly lights and their christmas trees on every lamp post.

To make up for this I notice Debra has lights around her door and strange other side next door neighbour has had his madly flashing randomly strung lights up there since mid November. So tomorrow we will do our bit and put some lights up on the lime tree. Ours are allegedly programmable to flash and change colours in many interesting and varied ways but I seem to recall that they usually finish up fading in and out in a ghostly blue. Between us all we should get the traffic moving along pretty briskly I reckon.

The most popular exterior decoration appears to be Pere Noel Grimpeur (Father Christmas Climbing) these are in all the shops and range from about two feet high to larger than life size. We have seen them hanging from lots and lots of houses. Unfortunately hanging seems to be the operative word they all have the look of being strung up as a warning to other Santas.

We really will have to do something about christmas I suppose though as usual we are not in the slightest bit prepared. In my case I think it's due to having a birthday at the beginning of December not that I'm ever ready for my birthday either. Actually I'm never ready for any "days" or anniversaries or anything. Yes scratch the birthday theory/excuse I'm just not ready.

Mimo

2007-12-02T11:30:00.000+01:00

This is how Mimo did everything.

Full speed with tail fluffed out.

This is how she died on the road outside on Wednesday. We came home to find her frozen in action, killed instantly.

In her short life she climbed everything she could climb and played with everything that could be played with.

She was a furry grey blur who pounced out of nowhere on bare feet, bits of straw, the sweeping brush, the dog. One minute she was there and the next she was gone.

Moules & Frites

2007-11-26T20:25:00.000+01:00

We had what I would consider to be a "French" kind of day yesterday. Not surprising being that we are in France you might think. What I mean is that we did the kinds of things that other people seem to do in France and write about on their blogs. Foody winey kinds of things.

In the morning we went to a fete at Chaptelas where there were stallholders selling oysters, sausages,wine, cheeses, liquors and such. We tasted wine, honey and cheese (well I didn't taste the cheese as I hate it but was assured that it was outstanding by TS and our friend Miranda) and bought some. Then had Moules & Frites for lunch along with a bottle of the wine we had tasted and bought in what looked like the village hall. This is the kind of foody winey experience I enjoy. Sitting at a trestle table on a plastic chair rather than in a posh restaurant, with your neighbours wishing you bon apetite and tucking into their food and throwing their moules shells into an old margerine carton in the middle of the table.

Then in the afternoon we went over to another friend's for champagne and cakes to celebrate her birthday. The company was a mixture of French and English as was the conversation. Mine mostly English with the odd French phrase thrown in, some peoples mostly French with the odd English phrase and a few clever people fluent in both bridging the gaps.

Only the one glass of champagne, unfortunately I was driving, but lots of cake to make up for it.

Home

2007-11-22T22:01:00.000+01:00

Tech Support arrived home this morning bearing gifts and things left behind.

The gifts included fleecy pyjamas, thermal long johns and woolly socks, all bought following the minus 9 degree days of last week. A man who will buy you thermal long johns and fleecy PJs is far more precious than one who arrives with silk lingerie I feel.

He brought our Christmas decorations (can't think what gave him that idea!), some pictures and of course more books.

And some things just because they were ours and left behind like the iron (that's the only reason I can think of for bringing it).

He is now sleeping the sleep of a man who has driven for 16 hours to get home and the house is warm again and it's nothing to do with the temperature outside or the logs he split for me after driving all that way. The fleecy PJs help too though.

Sundry Smugness

2007-11-21T12:49:00.000+01:00

It's bin day today (well actually at the crack of dawn tomorrow) and my contribution to land fill this week is one small swing bin bag from the kitchen. Everything else this week has gone on the compost, in the chickens or will be recycled. It feels like a milestone to me anyway!

My Inner Child

2007-11-21T12:11:00.000+01:00

Everyone keeps telling me Christmas is coming so I thought I know I'll make some salt dough decorations cheap and cheerful.

Here you have them then left to right:- Scary Santa, Terrible Tree, Pathetic Penguin and actually I quite like the snowman I think I'll call him Snowy.

The more observant amongst you will notice that I forgot to make a hole to hang them up. (As if they are going on display anywhere!).

Anyway I have loads more dough in a plastic bag in the fridge and will refine my modelling skills . At the least we could have many many snowmen hanging on our tree this year. A trip to buy cookie cutters may pay off but would defeat the no spend objective.

On the plus side we have big bunches of mistletoe in the apple trees, lots of holly and ivy, pine cones and some little pine saplings one of which will do for a Christmas tree. Good job Mother Nature knows her stuff.

The Dark Side

2007-11-18T17:28:00.000+01:00

Well I absolutely completely and utterly was going to give it a rest on the subject of the chickens. But every day their little bird brains dream up some new way of winding me up.

This afternoon I went out and there was not a chicken in sight. I checked next door front, side and back. No no chickens. Checked the woods and the chemin. No chickens. Came in found cat ball with bell in and got jug of tasty chicken treats. Checked next door front, side and back, woods and chemin shaking jug of food and ringing bell in cat ball. While keeping an eye out that I wasn't spotted by any passing French folk as explanations would of been quite difficult in English.

The bell by the way is what we thought we had trained the chickens to respond to by ringing it when we fed them treats. Normally it brings them running (and there is nothing funnier than the site of a chicken running towards you) but not today.

Anyway I was looking out of the bathroom window torn between worry and thinking well good riddance I've got a fridge full of eggs anyway when I spotted them. In the other side next door neighbours garden. So I was out there again trying to get their attention with bell and jug peering through the hedge. Of course I could of just gone in there and got them but this is strange next door neighbour. The one with an electric fence instead of a gate whose cat wears a collar and is chained up outside a kennel. Honest. (Before you start worrying about the cat I have to say that it looks perfectly happy and healthy and quite often roams through our garden and scares Mimo) So no I was not about to knock on the door and say please mister can I have my chickens back that is the kind of job I normally send Tech Support to do.

I decided they would come back of their own accord round about treat time which Dolly and the two Jeans did but Anita didn't. So many more forays into the woods peering through hedges shouting bup bup bup ringing my bell followed. Strange next door neighbour is probably reading this now and thinking yes the words pot, kettle and black spring to mind (but in French obviously).

About an hour later Anita was spotted next door (the other side) and reunited with the rest of The Dinnerladies. So we still have four chickens and I don't have to go buy another four before TS gets back.

No more now on the subject of chickens

Till tomorrow

The Washing Machine Does Not Go Round and Round

2007-11-15T19:30:00.000+01:00

I don't want to bore you with how much I love the way this place looks just now (but I will anyway). This is the chemin this morning.

It is COLD today. I can't tell you just how cold because the thermometer is under the lean to and now I've thought about looking it's too dark to see it. But when I brought the washing in it stood up by itself which is usually the way it is before I wash it.

More so now because the wonderful clothes washing machine has decided not to be wonderful anymore and won't go round and round no matter how much I slam the door or kick it or twirl the programme thing or switch the plug on and off. I think it's dead.

I have checked the obvious things like fuses and sockets and I'm reluctant to experiment further. Not least because it's in the cellar and it's dark and cobwebby down there and I keep hitting my head on the beam. All in all it's the kind of job you need Tech Support for. I shall put it on his list right after the new chicken run.

After weeks of cursing them I felt really sorry for the chooks today, they just didn't like the frozen ground at all. In fact it depressed them so much that they only escaped once. They got pasta and tomatoes for tea but even that didn't cheer them up and they went off to bed half an hour earlier than usual.

They're not Barbara's They're Mine

2007-11-13T19:52:00.000+01:00

Eating rock cakes the other day with Debra in France started me off on a craving for buns that I remembered that were just like rock cakes but without the currants and with jam in the middle. You know the ones. We made them at school.

Delia was no help. This set me off surfing the net (as we say in the trade) for a recipe. My problem was that I couldn't remember what they were called. The only name that sprang to mind was Barbaras and I knew that wasn't the proper name. That name comes from a rather flat chested canteen lady's unkind colleagues.

Well after many a fruitless search with the terms jam, cakes and rock cakes with jam I finally found a recipe that sounded more or less right under jam buns. The next thing to do was of course make some to try it out.

The left hand picture is my first sad attempt which morphed into Super Size Me jam bun. Of course it still had to be eaten and there was only one person around to do it. After all you can't give something like that to a guest now can you? And the chickens are still being little Bs so they weren't getting any.

Because I'm a bit of a trooper I tried again tonight and the right hand picture is today's effort. A little bit more like I remember but if I was Barbara I would still be worried. When I have bravely eaten my way through this lot (by bed time I reckon). Then I shall try again, in fact, I shall eat as many as it takes to achieve perfection.

Perhaps after another half a dozen goes Debra can come round for coffee.

Dolmens

2007-11-11T20:23:00.000+01:00

Just noticed this is post number 100 unfortunately it's not anything more momentus than any other post.

In fact it is an untimely post, a lost in the post post because these are pictures that I took months ago and have been meaning to post but never quite got round to.

We took these heading back from the open all hours tabac/restaurant/grocers/boulangerie(we also sell flowers) some time in the summer.

These two dolmens are a couple of kilometres from Blond and probably about a km away from each other. We go past the one in the middle of the field as opposed to the one in the middle of the fence quite often now and I always shout a mental hello to it.

On this occasion having just been to the open all hours tabac/restaurant/grocers/boulangerie (we also sell flowers). Have I mentioned the Patron has a look of GGGranville about him?

Anyway having just been to the above mentioned emporium and remembering Hedgewizard's excellent advice that you can't have too many friends we left some bread at each and kind of said hello to some people who lived here before us.

Which I suppose actually makes this post not as late as it might at first appear. Given that we have just had Halloween and today is Rememberence Day.

Feeling Lucky

2007-11-10T18:55:00.000+01:00

Oh I am in for some good luck now! I know this because I found a horseshoe while I was digging in the garden.

I have propped it up under the letter box rather than nailing it to the front door beause the front door is on it's last legs and it could be the final nail so as to speak. This I believe is the right way up so the luck doesn't fall out.

TS is charged with buying a lottery ticket on the off chance.

If we win I'll still "speak" to you of course but no begging letters please.

Autumn

2007-11-06T19:19:00.000+01:00

This doesn't really do it justice.

Out and about today it was so beautiful I had to add wishing I was an artist to my long list of stuff I would like to be good at.

Actually I would like to be good at all sorts of arty crafty stuff mainly because I like the raw materials and implements. I can spend ages wondering round Hobbicraft despite having neither hobby nor craft to my name.

Given the chance and the bank balance I would have a "studio" with a potters wheel and kiln and pigments and textiles and beads and paper and brushes and those little power tools and little drawers to put them in and shelves to display them on.

I can make candles. But then who can't?

It Could be Worse

2007-11-05T21:35:00.000+01:00

TS has definitely got the rough end of the deal right now

Arnold the Methodical

One Goes Mad in France

2007-11-05T20:26:00.000+01:00

Mousie invited me to play a game. Basically you enter your name into Amazon Search and see what books come up. This was my favourite - Breezy Broadstairs

Actually it's "An ephemeral guide to Broadstairs with black and white drawings and advertisements for local businesses of the period" but it was the name I loved it conjours up (for me at least) heroines of days gone by, a mix of Joyce Grenfell and Margaret Rutherford striding round the countryside. I did want Joyce Grenfell playing WPC Ruby Gates in St Trinians to illustrate my point but alas I couldn't find a clip of her. You'll have to make do with the This

Thank you Mousie for Breezy Broadstairs she has given me hours of fun today while I chopped wood and chased chickens in my new persona.

Well TTFN chaps off to make coffee and put some more wood on the bally old fire what ho

Try the game you'll like it

It Don't Mean a Thing Part Deux

2007-11-02T19:41:00.000+01:00

I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't know enough English to learn French. English grammar that is.

Verbs, nouns and adjectives are about the limit of my grammar words the rest seem to of passed me by somehow. Probably while I was writing "I must remember to bring the correct books to my English lessons" 500 times for most of a term in high school. Except for infinitive but only because my english teacher was always going on about Star Trek splitting the infinitive in "To boldly go" and mentioning Star Trek would get my attention.

This leaves me trying to learn two things at once - the words and the words for the words. If we just knew at school which stuff was padding and which stuff was going to come in handy it would save so much trouble later. I can still remember how ox-bow lakes are formed and that little bit of knowledge has never ever done me any good. In fact it is probably taking up brain cells that I could be putting to some useful purpose right now.

So I listen to that man on the CD

"say give me 13 euros"

"say I have some"

"say will you buy me some wine"

"listen and repeat"

"say how much do I owe you"

on and on with the words that never spring to the tip of my tongue because that bloody river making that bloody ox-bow lake is meandering through my mind.

Geography teachers, they have a lot to answer for.

I'll see your dog on the roof and raise you a cat

2007-11-01T18:41:00.000+01:00

So it's been over a week now and I have survived!

Mind you I have not used the chainsaw yet.

I have however climbed up ladders almost every day. Not because I am madly doing DIY or anything useful like that. Oh no. I am climbing up ladders propped against the same spot on the outside wall almost every day because Mimo insists on getting stuck on next doors barn roof. I am one woman cat rescue or complete sucker.

I'm beginning to go with the latter as the last couple of times she has jumped from the roof to the top of the ladder to my shoulder and looks suspiciously pleased with herself.

TS e mails leave her up there for a while but I daren't. You see I still don't have the chickens under control and it's only a short hop from the barn roof to the neighbour's bedroom window. Call me paranoid but first the Anglaise chickens trash the veg then the cat invades the bedroom things get difficult and before you know it it's pitchforks and flaming torches.

Until my daily ladder climbing started I never realised just how tricky they can be. My first couple of attempts at propping those ladders against the wall were frankly farcical and an excellent practical demonstration of the laws of physics as regards levers and centers of gravity. Anyone with a video camera could of earned themselves £250 on the spot. I am now adept at ladders. In fact I could join the fire brigade in their cat rescuing department.

Throughout all this cat and chicken nonsense the dog has been impeccable. She is now my favourite

Chiffres & Lettres

2007-11-01T17:53:00.000+01:00

For those of you who asked. It's on now!!!!!

It's what I've been calling Countdown because I've never seen the introductory titles before.

. . . and another soup

2007-10-28T20:50:00.000+01:00

Chestnut and Celery Soup

1. Look up lots of chestnut soup recipes on internet and find that you don't have ingredients for any single one so get a general feel and go with what you've got.

2. Go to barn and jump up and down to reach sack of chestnuts hung just out of reach by absent husband

3. Weigh out a pound and half of chestnuts as detailed in only recipe that didn't measure everything in cups. (what is it with these people that they can't use proper weights and measures?)

4. Cut X in each very slippy chestnut with dangerously sharp knife while cat "helps" by batting chestnuts all over kitchen floor

5. Roast chestnuts in oven for twenty minutes then peel while still hot

6. Put chestnuts back in oven to get hot again and peel some more

7. Repeat 6 till you loose the will to live and finish up with a whole 8oz of mangled chestnuts and give the "leftovers" to chickens

8. Make a sandwich for lunch this soup will never be ready

9. Sweat the vegetables in pan then add chestnuts after you have probably discarded the bit that the cat tasted and spat out.

10. Simmer for ages then puree and taste.

11. Give to dog and make another sandwich for tea

I am not the God of Chickens

2007-10-25T15:44:00.000+02:00

The chickens have sussed out that The God of Chickens (aka TS) is AWOL and has left me in charge. They are playing me up big time.

Yesterday I had to retrieve them from next doors garden twice, the second time I got caught in the act. Luckily Tuesday I had given Madame a dozen eggs so she was feeling kindly disposed towards them. Nothing will persuade them to come out of there on their own as the bloody daft things can never seem to remember how they got in there in the first place.

I tried shaking the can of sweet corn but all they did was jump up and down and squawk that they couldn't possibly get back and they would never get to eat that corn and they might die. So in I went after them narrowly avoiding a well placed bit of barbed wire, did they squat down like they do for The God of Chickens ?

No they kept just out of reach under the sprouts and crapped and pulled off the odd leaf just to make sure next door knew they'd been. Or ran round and round the pampas grass.

In between the two forays into next door Debra down the road knocked on the door to say she'd just chucked one of them back over the fence as it was out the front near the road.

So I put the chicken run back up, we had been letting them range round the garden now that there's nothing much left for them to ruin.

I obviously did a bang up job because this morning they got out and when I got back from walking the dog I could hear one in the chemin. Again she'd got out there couldn't remember how to get back in the garden and was in a right tiz because she absolutely had to lay an egg right now. I love walking down the road with a chicken under my arm it makes me feel so sophisticated and cosmopolitan.

I was going to round them up again but they promised to be good and just potter about and sunbathe next to the house so I relented. Now at least two of them are next door again, little Bs.

Time to go chicken wrangling then hide round the corner and see how they are getting out. I feel like Mrs Tweedy.

To think I promised not to eat them while TS was away.

ps Got caught again and now all the chooks back in their run jumping up and down looking over longingly at next doors garden Oh and something has eaten all my leeks so it looks like only the brussels sprouts left. It'll be a windy winter!

Are You There Yet?

2007-10-24T13:01:00.000+02:00

Day 1

Still waiting for TS to confirm that he has got to Leeds and is crashed out on my brother's sofa watching Stargate and eating chicken tandori pizza washed down with a pint of really hoppy beer.

I've not managed to kill myself by falling down the stairs, off ladders, chopping my arm off with the chain saw, starvation or hypothermia. But it's early days.

Be Careful Out There

2007-10-23T21:23:00.000+02:00

It's the dreaded day when real life comes back to slap us about a bit.

TS is currently driving back to Leeds to flog the UK car in the UK where they prefer the steering wheel on the right hand side and do some work for money. He will be staying with my brother who rashly offered to put us up anytime and is happy to be paid in the dark chocolate with raspberry bits in.

A month to six weeks he'll be gone unless by some fluke of fate we win the lottery without buying a ticket.

So today we have both been outdoing each other with the warnings and the cautions and the general fussing.

Me

Drive carefully
Stop for rests
Don't stop for rests in Paris on your own in the middle of the night
It's not going to rain so you'll be OK but watch out for ice
Drive carefully
Have you got your ferry confirmation, passport, euros, pounds etc etc etc
Drive carefully
All the numbers you need are on the phone
Look I'm packing this in here
Look I'm writing this down for you

TS

Don't go up any ladders
Don't use the kindling except to start the fire
Bring enough wood in don't stumble about in the lean to after dark
Don't use the chain saw, drill or any other power tools
Don't walk in the woods after dark
Lock the door
Lock the shutters
Eat breakfast

So of course I shall be spending the next six weeks locked in the house eating breakfast and TS is bound to be driving towards the ferry at 50km per hour.

It's probably not worth your while popping back for a bit

One Soup . . .

2007-10-17T16:12:00.000+02:00

You may, or may not be aghast to learn that I have never made soup. You might not care actually one way or the other about soup. I didn't. It was a tin from the back of the cupboard that you opened when you absolutely positively could not be arsed to go out to buy something and didn't have the money for pizza delivery.

As for the idea of making soup WHY?

That is until last week when the supermarket had an incredibly good deal on leeks. They were such good value that I just had to buy the 3kg sack (you know one of those stringy sack things that just look so farmy and vegetabley).

So I got Delia down from the shelf and looked at the pristine pages of soup recipes (the pudding pages particularly are piratically scratch and sniff, actually that should of been practically but the spell checker preferred piratically and so do I now).

Leek and potato soup what a success. Now followed by pea soup and vegetable soup. In fact there is a pan of soup on the stove as I type. It's easy and you make it out of just about nothing. Why did no one tell me or why did I not listen?

Soup is hereby added to list of things I have never made till I got here along with omlettes and pancakes.

Don't laugh I was sixteen before I learnt to fry an egg and married several years before I could make chips. At this rate we'll be having yorkshire puddings. Now they really are pointless.

It Don't Mean A Thing

2007-10-15T10:35:00.000+02:00

We are waiting to start proper French lessons.

We've been here since March and while we can understand lots of what is going on and what people are saying our spoken French seems to be stuck at the two year old stage. We can say lots of names for things but somehow sentances are something that happen to other people. As for conversations well they feel like being on the loosing end of a tennis match. The French speaker is effortlessly batting comments my way while my head runs all over the place trying to muster a reply. It's exhausting.

The tv has been good strangely enough for spelling and numbers. This is down to quiz shows like the French equivalent of Wheel of Fortune and Countdown. It's also good to watch the local news and get a bit of an idea of what is going on. Not that much does go on which is nice.

So anyway we decided progress had to be made and went to see a French teacher to get assesed for what level we were at and book some lessons. We are "wrong beginners" by that she means we have lots of words without having the grammar rules to put them together.

So we are waiting for her to get a few more English signed up and away we'll go being right beginners.