Chestnut and Celery Soup
1. Look up lots of chestnut soup recipes on internet and find that you don't have ingredients for any single one so get a general feel and go with what you've got.
2. Go to barn and jump up and down to reach sack of chestnuts hung just out of reach by absent husband
3. Weigh out a pound and half of chestnuts as detailed in only recipe that didn't measure everything in cups. (what is it with these people that they can't use proper weights and measures?)
4. Cut X in each very slippy chestnut with dangerously sharp knife while cat "helps" by batting chestnuts all over kitchen floor
5. Roast chestnuts in oven for twenty minutes then peel while still hot
6. Put chestnuts back in oven to get hot again and peel some more
7. Repeat 6 till you loose the will to live and finish up with a whole 8oz of mangled chestnuts and give the "leftovers" to chickens
8. Make a sandwich for lunch this soup will never be ready
9. Sweat the vegetables in pan then add chestnuts after you have probably discarded the bit that the cat tasted and spat out.
10. Simmer for ages then puree and taste.
11. Give to dog and make another sandwich for tea