Thursday, 25 October 2007

I am not the God of Chickens

The chickens have sussed out that The God of Chickens (aka TS) is AWOL and has left me in charge. They are playing me up big time.

Yesterday I had to retrieve them from next doors garden twice, the second time I got caught in the act. Luckily Tuesday I had given Madame a dozen eggs so she was feeling kindly disposed towards them. Nothing will persuade them to come out of there on their own as the bloody daft things can never seem to remember how they got in there in the first place.

I tried shaking the can of sweet corn but all they did was jump up and down and squawk that they couldn't possibly get back and they would never get to eat that corn and they might die. So in I went after them narrowly avoiding a well placed bit of barbed wire, did they squat down like they do for The God of Chickens ?

No they kept just out of reach under the sprouts and crapped and pulled off the odd leaf just to make sure next door knew they'd been. Or ran round and round the pampas grass.

In between the two forays into next door Debra down the road knocked on the door to say she'd just chucked one of them back over the fence as it was out the front near the road.

So I put the chicken run back up, we had been letting them range round the garden now that there's nothing much left for them to ruin.

I obviously did a bang up job because this morning they got out and when I got back from walking the dog I could hear one in the chemin. Again she'd got out there couldn't remember how to get back in the garden and was in a right tiz because she absolutely had to lay an egg right now. I love walking down the road with a chicken under my arm it makes me feel so sophisticated and cosmopolitan.

I was going to round them up again but they promised to be good and just potter about and sunbathe next to the house so I relented. Now at least two of them are next door again, little Bs.

Time to go chicken wrangling then hide round the corner and see how they are getting out. I feel like Mrs Tweedy.

To think I promised not to eat them while TS was away.

ps Got caught again and now all the chooks back in their run jumping up and down looking over longingly at next doors garden Oh and something has eaten all my leeks so it looks like only the brussels sprouts left. It'll be a windy winter!


Imperatrix said...

I have to thank you because I've longingly thought of how much fun having some chickens would be.

I think I'm not ready for them.


Anonymous said...

Well your chook antics had me chuckling. I love the idea of you trying to look cool with a chicken under your arm juxtaposed to the idea of you lurking like Mrs. Tweedy. It really sounds exhausting. Keep up the good work.

Breezy said...

Imperatrix don't let me put you off they really are fun and the eggs are totally worth it. Unless you're like my brother who thinks they're too eggy (?)

Anon yes I'm afraid I just can't carry off the chicken under the arm thing

Kitt said...

I would love some of those fresh fresh eggs, but I'll let someone else do the chook-wrangling.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

How about Chicken soup? I have a great recipe! Loved the Mrs Tweedy analogy. How can an egg be too eggy?! He must be used to the salmonella laced old poop that passes for eggs in our supermarkets here! Long live free range!

Breezy said...

Kitt I've gots lots as no puddings with custard made this week I'd send you some but then they wouldn't be all that fresh

MOB well what else can you expect from someone who prefers John Smiths to real ale? I think one of us was adopted. Don't tempt me on the chicken soup!

Hedgewizard said...

Nice to hear you again! Why not surprise tech support and learn to make real egg custard while he's away? It's a pain in the derriere but not hard really - it's never too late to learn to cook!

Breezy said...

HW cracking idea my gran used to make it I love it. Need to look up the french for nutmeg. It's a good chance to experiment while I have lots of spare eggs and time both with the custard and other stuff. Today I will be giving chestnut soup a go I'm literally wading in chestnuts when I take Sissy out for her walk

Hedgewizard said...

There's a post on my blog about peeling chestnuts that might help! Have fun now...

Breezy said...

HW finally found it Oct 2006!