I wanted this title in text speak but I don't know any

Did I say nothing ever happens here?

Proof positive last night that it's just me. We had an earthquake. 5 point whatever. The bed shook and everything. I somehow managed to incorporate it a third into a dream, a third into the wind gusting outside and a third into the dog scratching.

I can vaguely remember wondering what was going on, getting up and going to the loo then going back to sleep. Just what would have to happen for me to take notice. I have visions of the world ending one day while I'm stood at the bus stop wondering where everyone else got to.

The funniest thing I heard about the earthquake was from a work colleague who said her daughter sent her a text to ask what was happening. I'm still chuckling in disbelief. The daughter was just in the next bedroom by the way.

I still haven't got the hang of this texting thing. I'm so bad at it that I turned the beeping off on my phone so no one could hear how slow I was. The whole office used to take the p*** . Now I just don't use one at all.

Which is why when you lot are all texting each other about the apocolypse I'll be stood at the bus stop.