Wednesday, 27 February 2008

I wanted this title in text speak but I don't know any

Did I say nothing ever happens here?

Proof positive last night that it's just me. We had an earthquake. 5 point whatever. The bed shook and everything. I somehow managed to incorporate it a third into a dream, a third into the wind gusting outside and a third into the dog scratching.

I can vaguely remember wondering what was going on, getting up and going to the loo then going back to sleep. Just what would have to happen for me to take notice. I have visions of the world ending one day while I'm stood at the bus stop wondering where everyone else got to.

The funniest thing I heard about the earthquake was from a work colleague who said her daughter sent her a text to ask what was happening. I'm still chuckling in disbelief. The daughter was just in the next bedroom by the way.

I still haven't got the hang of this texting thing. I'm so bad at it that I turned the beeping off on my phone so no one could hear how slow I was. The whole office used to take the p*** . Now I just don't use one at all.

Which is why when you lot are all texting each other about the apocolypse I'll be stood at the bus stop.


softinthehead said...

Yes texting is beyond me too - I have decided it is skill I am just too old to be bothered to learn. I thought that we have cellphones so we can TALK to each other!

Kitt said...

Fun! I heard about the quake and thought of you. Quite the surprise, eh?

I text constantly with my beau, because it's a convenient way to share a quick thought. But we don't abbreviate!

aims said...

I can't be bothered with texting - have never done it - doubt if I ever will -

Now - get me into a chat room...that's something different :)

Breezy said...

SITH & Aims maybe it's an age thing?

Kitt well you are the sring chicken here

travelling, but not in love said...

I quite like texting - use it all the time.

I also like text flirting too - there's nothing quite as funny as being in a dull meeting and receiving a really filthy text!

Floats my boat, anyway (but let's face it, that ain't difficult)....

SpiralSkies said...

Sadly, I'm a text addict but perhaps that's something to do with me being an unsociable misery-guts.

You do make me laugh. Stood at the bus stop while the apocalypse rages round you. Maybe it's just means you're more serene than the rest of us? :0)

Lynda (Granny K) said...

My friend's budgie fell off it's perch because of the earthquake!

Anonymous said...

A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit
Lincolnshire in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Its epicentre was in the Market Rasen area.

Victims were seen meandering around aimlessly, muttering

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage. Several priceless collections of historic tractors were
damaged beyond repair and all three of the County's compoooooters went down.

Three areas of historic scare crows were disturbed. Many locals were
woken well before their Gang Master's Transit mini buses arrived.

Lincs FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Lincolnshire.

One strange effect of the earthquake was to startle thousands of
toads into action - but most residents returned to their homes within

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said,
"It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm
slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and
watching Jeremey Kyle later in the morning."

Another resident said, 'I was in bed with my five daughters and their
grandmother, as usual, and on feeling the vibrations I nudged my mum
in the back and said 'Has that disturbed the ducks, Duck?'

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and
carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found
large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books,
jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from


This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.

Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Wellington Boots & Barbour jackets
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms and their giros.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

***Breaking news***

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "Scunthorpe" said the
girl, "wossit gotta do wiv you?"

Please don't forward this to anyone living in Spalding/Boston area -
oh, sod it... they won't be able to read it anyway

Breezy said...

TBNIL I would epect no less of you. You hip groovy thing

Jen serene? me? probably just slow on the uptake

Lynda that is hilarious! which is a but cruel really

Anon. excellent

Anji said...

Texting from the next roo sounds a bit like our house. perhaps when the end of the world comes I'll text them all...

Breezy said...

It would all be over and done with by the time I got that keyed in