Mongoose, gooses, goosi, geese

You are married to someone for more than a quarter of a century and just when you think you know everything about them you make a stunning discovery. The conversation goes like this.

"What is a mongoose anyway?"

"You've never read Riki Tiki Tavi?"

"No"

"You have! Rudyard Kipling. It kills snakes "

"No"

"We could Google some pictures"

"No that would spoil it"

Perhaps I'd better rewind a little.

There is something or some things that visit our attic. We can hear it/them at night tippety tapping about. During the day the only evidence is bits of beetle carapace and little droppings but not mouse droppings.

TS says it's a mongoose. I had been working under the assumption that he knew what a mongoose was.

When Mimo starts venturing up the attic steps he tells her to watch out for the mongoose. When we can't find things the mongoose has taken it.

The mongoose is up there now as I type.

I don't quite know what mythical beast the word mongoose conjours up for TS I only know he doesn't want to know what's in the attic. He's happy for it to be a mongoose

I'm happy that we've got a door on the bedroom. I'll be even happier when Mimo is of a size to go mongoose hunting.

Rainy Days and Mondays

UK and France it's just the same. Bank holiday Monday and it siled down all day. This is the third rainy bank holiday in a row between days where the temperature has got up as high as 28 degrees. Go figure.

It's a phenomenon I may have to add to the Olde Breezy Breake Almanac "If the shoppes be shutte rain will fill your butte". Has quite a ring I think.

I used to like rain as an excuse to curl up with a book and do nothing at all. Now rain means I have to work in the house on DIY stuff instead of being out in the garden talking to the chickens and weeding, urrhumph. So I'm torn.

We have our "crops" out in the garden a couple of dry hot sunny days and we're looking at the sky for clouds to save the hauling up of water from the well and trudging about with watering cans but it means breaking out the toolkit and doing real work.

What the world needs is sunny days and rainy nights everyone says so. Someone ought to sort it out.

Hellooo Again We Smells Like Lords and Ladies

We have been cut off from the outside world but today France Telecom man came out and fixed a fault at the exchange and in the box at the side of the house so we are fully functioning in the telecommunications department once more. The lovely Elizabeth (from Agence BMI who we bought the house from) persuaded them at last that yes there really was a problem.





So I bet you think we've got plumbing by now with no distractions? well after much effing and blinding we have the shower cubicle fully assembled and the toilet and a base unit for the kitchen sink so any time now we'll be there.





But we have had distractions too cos tomorrow is chicken market day so Tech Support was pulled off the plumbing to get on with Chateau La Chook an historical and quaintly rustic construction with parts dating back to 1937. Oh yes we found a bed base in the barn with a frame just the right sort of size to make a chicken house base. It was stuffed with straw and a 1937 newspaper unfortunately they hadn't stashed the family treasure there too but you can't have everything.

Monsieur next door says the chickens will eat up our veggies but no we say we will have a barrier which luckily is the word for fence if you say it in your best Pink Panther impression. In fact this applies to many words (especially the ones ending tion our neighbour Ian says) anyway it's always worth a try if you're stuck for a word and you're not proud. It's much better to say something I find even if it's nonsense or English than to say nothing.

We had a confusing time tonight. We had just got back from the local tabac which also sells bread, magazines, plants, groceries in fact its like Arkwright's Open All Hours but with beer and a restaurant too. Anyway Joel pulled up and asked if we had the plan (of our land) and indicated that we needed to go off in the car with him which we did. He drove us to a big house at the top of the village where he discussed the plan and our bits of land in great detail with a lady there who clearly knew who owned everything in the area (her mainly). Then he took us to our smallest (400 square metres) and last bit of unseen land which is a small patch of oak trees and a spring. Again it was a case of tromping through fields and under and over barbed wire with Tech Support in the front in his boots in case of serpents as Joel realised he only had his slippers on halfway across the field. Why it was necessary to suddenly do this we still don't know as there was much talk about the various plots and the spring seemed quite important. At one point it seemed like a swap was being talked about. Ah well I suppose it will all become clear in the fullness of time but I'd really rather hang on to oak trees and a spring.

The plant in the picture we think we've identified as Lords and Ladies it's on the path in the woods and it really stinks, apparently to attract flies to pollinate it. Nuff said

The Woods that Legend Spake Of

We have solved one of the great mysteries of our lives. We have found The Woods That Legend Spake Of!

When we bought the house the previous owners chucked in about one and a half acres of sapins (pine trees). Up to press these have been a coloured in F shaped block on the plan cadastral. We have made forays down the lane that leads there but it peters out into a mess of barbed wire and bramles. The little plots that look so clear on the plan are nothing like on the ground. We have always referred to the missing plot as "The Wood That Legend Spake Of"

So Monday tea time Lawrence was once again chewing over the plan but it was hot I was knackered from moving bricks AND I had a poorly thumb. Then he outmanouvered me. He spotted Joel our next door neighbours' son and rushed out to greet him saying something like "Hello Joel How are you? Isn't it hot? Land ours (jabbing at the plan) me no find you know? You help?"

Joel agreed and led us off down the lane plan in hand pointing at landmarks and the plan. I can tell you he set a right old pace while we trotted along behind him gasping out the odd oui, non and daccord hopefully in the right places.

At the spot where the path disappeared he led us over barbed wire (just the right height to be embarrassing) and down a field pointing out where the chemin "track" should be. Then we were there! THE WOODS THAT LEGEND SPAKE OF. The bits around it belonged to Joel, his mother and his father and Voisine was obviously really important and the numbers on the plan but Voisine knew and Voisine was the key to it all although it was very complicated.

We did a complete circuit while Joel pointed out the bits of rotten fence post, rusty wire and broken down walls that marked our boundaries. Like all legends the woods did not quite live up to their reputation. They were mainly horizontal due to some great trombe or trompette or something, obviously something windy as the few trees that were standing had had their tops ripped off at about twenty feet high. Or maybe it was the dragons. (que X files music).

So we will be self sufficient in firewood next winter and blackberry jam.

And Voisine? that means neighbour another mystery that was resolved when we found the dictionary, which we really should carry with us at all times. It was very complicated but Joel could take us straight to our land as he could tell from the plot numbers that we were neighbours.

Fodder

I'm confused, fodder it seems is an inappropriate word according to AdWords normally it's Sissy who's confused in our house especially if you do something spooky like look at her through a camera .

Life in general is mysterious to Sissy but it doesn't seem to bother her mainly because she only has room for one thought at a time and quite a tenuous hold on whatever thought it is. Unless she is thinking about food or Daddy. Food is important because it's food and Daddy is important because he protects her from spooky things.

He also protects her from Borg who, when he can't be bothered to go out in the

garden and do cat stuff, amuses himself by playing with her mind. He's not honourable he doesn't see her as an unworthy opponent beneath his skills just a bit of light entertainment. He places himself just where she wants to go next and dares her to try walk past him. Perhaps he's practising cat chess when he counters her every dither with a slight change of posture. Eventually Daddy helps Sissy out by suggesting the right move or she just gives up and decides to go somewhere else either way Borg chalks it up as another victory that confirms the superiority of cats.

Dream fodder was the phrase we wanted which to us means stuff that we buy or browse on the internet that gets added into THE PLAN ie the things we dream about doing and we're working towards being able to do.

I looked it up in an online dictionary in case it was just me who'd led a sheltered life and it had something to do with strange practices but no it just gave feed stuff for cows and cannon fodder. So it will remain one of those great unsolved mysteries of life I guess because that's about as much effort as I'm willing to put into finding out.