Saturday, 28 July 2007

I want that hour back right now!

Today we went out to see friends and I came back laden with magazines of the kind that tell you how to loose ten stones in ten days and are full of pictures of celebs doing celeb stuff and "ordinary" people who have slept with their sister's/mother's/best friend's husband. Well they were free and I thought I might have a bit of a read.

So I have sat here for the last hour checking out the cellulite of people I have never heard of and comparing the merits of diets I will never go on. I have already found the perfect way to loose weight, you move a long way away from shops that deliver chicken tandori pizza and chunky monkey ice cream.

On the plus side there was a rather nice picture of George Clooney in one of them and I could read my past horoscopes to find out how my life should of been going in April had I only known that I should hold back on my Sagittarian frankness and not tell it how it is.

To think I could of been in the garden strimming and getting a face mask of grass cuttings and mashed slug.

Now I shall hand them on like a glossy chain letter to someone else. That person will probably wonder why they read them and who all these shiny celebrity people are and so they will continue on their journey till someone has the strength of will to put them in the bin.

12 comments:

Summer said...

I like the way you write. Your style makes it an interesting read.

Hedgewizard said...

It's horribly compelling isn't it? It's like driving past a serious accident. You know you shouldn't look, but...

Karen said...

Hi Summer thank you

Hedgewizard at least with the accident you can claim you were concerned

Mousie/Paisible said...

I tell you the queerest thing I've ever read about losing weight...put a big bath in the open air on a full moon night and stay in the water for one hour at the precise time of full moon...yes I read that, so sweetheart we just have time to prepare, the full moon is tonight...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've post for your tag...follow the link...just need now to find other blogs to tag...
see you

Jen said...

Oh, bliss! I used to have an elderly neighbour who was always shoving trashy, second-hand mags through my letterbox. I always meant to throw them out but somehow, mysteriously, they ended up with curly corners after several hours in the bath with a glass of wine or two.

Loved that post - 'specially the cuttings 'n' slug facepack and retrospective stargazing!

X

Karen said...

Mousie that is just the best weight loss tip I have heard but Madame Moon is hiding her face behind the rain clouds tonight.

Jen oh yes there is nothing like a freshly strimmed slug in the face. Glad that a full time writer liked the post.

Debra in France said...

Those are one of the many things that I DO NOT miss about the UK. I spend my days at the moment making new scrunchy newspaper toys for Misty,

I thought your skin was looking exceptionally smooth and clear at the moment - must be the new face pack. Mmm, slug and grass clippings, think I'll stay spotty thanks!!

Karen said...

Damn and I was going to pass them on to you! (the mags not the slugs)They might make good toys!

Debra in France said...

Misty says she would love them!

Kitchen Witch said...

There is a very good use for dubious magazines, though: more here.

Karen said...

KW they look good I might just give that a whirl next time

tea and cake said...

Well, hello there, Breezy!

I have done my homework and passed it on. I'm not a very exciting or funny gardener, I'm afraid!